"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Saturday, May 28, 2011

The attachment factor

Over the last few weeks, I've had several people tell me - upon finding out that we have a foster baby - that they wouldn't be able to do it. Their reason? They'd get too attached to the baby (or child).

It's a good reason. I mean, why would anyone willingly subject themselves to the possibility of falling in love with a child, who isn't yours, just to have to give them back?

This thought has crossed my mind a million times - before we even got this adorable baby. Heck, one of Logan's main concerns about becoming foster parents in the first place was that he didn't want to get too attached to any kids that we might not keep. We know how hard it is to lose a baby, and it's certainly not on our list of things we want to experience again.

So here we are. We've fallen in love with this baby, and it hasn't even been a month. We'd adopt him in a heartbeat, if it came to that. But unfortunately, we don't know what will happen. I think about the possibility of fostering him for a year or two, and then suddenly we have to send him back home. That scares the crap out of me, considering how attached we are after just a few weeks. I've been praying that God puts this baby in the best home possible, whether it's ours or not, and while I'd like to think that the best home is ours, it's not my call. I feel like we should be prepared in the event that he leaves us one day, but then I think about how that's kind of limiting ourselves. I don't know want to hold anything back because we might not keep him forever. Because if we do end up keeping him, I don't want to look back and regret not giving this baby all the love he deserves.

When you think about it, we don't know who is going to be in our lives forever. I don't mean to sound depressing or anything, but seriously...all of these crazy tornadoes lately have made it quite obvious that you could lose your loved ones at any moment. And that gives us all the more reason to cherish the time you have with each other.

Even though we might not have this baby forever, we're going to enjoy him while we have him. God brought him into our life, and no matter what happens, God is faithful and will see us through it.

I'll leave you with some lyrics to a song by Relient K. It pretty much sums up what I'm trying to say.

"I'll give, give, give
Until there's nothing else
Give my all
Until it all runs out
Give, give
And I'll have no regrets
I'll give until there's nothing left"
-Relient K, "Give Until There's Nothing Left"

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