"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Thursday, June 9, 2011

It's how my life works

It always works out that as soon as I write about something, the complete opposite happens. Or close to it. So maybe I should just let Logan do all the writing from here on out.

Ha, yeah. Like that would happen. (In his defense, he has been rather busy lately. I get that.)

A couple days ago, I said how it was hard not knowing how long we'll keep the baby and that it keeps seeming like the situation goes back and forth. Well. Yesterday, his case manager informed me that there's a good chance that he will be going back to his family next week. It's not definite, but it's the way things are looking now. So I was told to have his stuff packed just in case.

I considered not writing about this because I don't want to sound depressing for the next week or so and then by some chance the baby stay. But for some reason it feels like I'm supposed to write about certain things. Sigh.

As you all can expect, just thinking about giving back this adorable baby made me cry. A lot. And it still does. My initial reaction was to kind of repress my feelings, I guess, and pretend that I wasn't attached to him. But seriously. No one on this earth can hold this baby and not fall in love. He is THAT cute. So, after realizing that repression was not going to work, I have now started to love on the little guy even more. Will it make it more difficult to give him back? Maybe. But I'll deal with that when the time comes.

I can't help but wonder if we're cut out for this - falling in love with children and then having to give them up. I'll save that for another day, though.

Please pray for us.

Psalm 136:26 - O give thanks to the God of heaven, for his steadfast love endures forever.

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