"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Friday, August 26, 2011

Some things you never forget

Today is 2 years since the day Logan and I found out we were pregnant with Levi. And I remember it like it was yesterday.

It was a Wednesday evening around 5:00pm. I had been feeling funny things in my stomach for a few days, and the week before I kept waking up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night - something I hadn't done before. We had taken a pregnancy test the previous weekend, but it was negative. Since my weird symptoms persisted, we took another test when Logan got home from work. It was a cheap one, and the positive line was very, very faint and took a few minutes to show up. Logan actually left the bathroom at first because we thought it was negative again. But then I looked at the test, saw a blue line, and ran to tell Logan. We both didn't believe I was pregnant (pessimism at its finest), so Logan actually went out and bought a more expensive test that made it really obvious that I was pregnant. We were overjoyed. And totally overwhelmed.

That same evening (right after we found out), the priest who officiated at our wedding came over for dinner. And he totally celebrated mass right in our dining room. It was seriously one of the coolest things ever - the first mass (and only, actually) that was celebrated in our home was the first mass I knew there was a baby inside me. (I'm thinking you need to be Catholic to fully understand the joy behind this. Just saying.)

We're entering the time of year where I remember all of the dates that are associated with my pregnancy. And I don't think I need to explain how difficult it is to think about, especially considering we still haven't gotten pregnant again. The pain has decreased over time, but it will never fully go away.

My precious Levi, pray for us.

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