"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Friday, October 14, 2011

Never thought I would say this

A lot has happened in the last few days, so this may be a long entry. But you will definitely want to read the entire thing - trust me.

Tuesday night was when Logan and I decided we were done with Peanut, unless they could offer help - because with all of his issues, Peanut needs some kind of services. I finally talked to his worker Wednesday morning and explained how we felt. I insisted that they get him some help or we were done, because thinking about Peanut growing up doing the same things just flat out scares me. And if he doesn't get help now, well...I don't want to imagine that.

Peanut's worker didn't know what to do or what to tell me, so she said she'd talk to her supervisor and see what they could come up with. She promised to call me back. But of course I didn't hear from her for the rest of the day.

That afternoon (Wednesday), I actually saw the hematologist (I'm still amazed they fit me in that quickly). After hearing my story and looking at my records, Dr. B agreed with the high-risk OB/GYN I saw back in the day who insisted I take baby aspirin daily and then whenever I'm pregnant, to take a daily Lovenox shot (blood thinner). Dr. B did not think I have a bleeding issue, and she didn't really think I have a clotting issue either - but considering I already lost one baby, she strongly encouraged anticoagulation therapy (aspirin and Lovenox) for future pregnancies. Even though I didn't find out anything new, I'm still glad I saw the hematologist because I've never been 100% sure about what the high-risk OB/GYN had told me - so having a second opinion put my mind at ease.

When I got home from the appt., I decided to take a pregnancy test. Logan and I still have trouble believing it, but...the test was positive! After a year and a half of trying, I'm pregnant. Oh.my.goodness. You have no idea how excited we are.

Considering my pregnancy is high-risk, Logan and I decided it was best to have Peanut moved to a different foster home, regardless of if we were offered any help. I just cannot be under that kind of stress right now. And after talking to his worker yesterday afternoon (finally), we probably would have made that decision anyway (having him moved), because they basically aren't able to do anything to help Peanut. That makes me so unbelievably mad. This kid needs help and they're not doing anything. Ugh.

They are currently finding a new home for Peanut, which could take a couple weeks. Logan and I are praying that they can find a home who is better able to deal with Peanut's issues than we are. I am a little sad knowing he's not going to be with us much longer, but whenever he throws a fit or is downright defiant - which happens way too often - I'm reminded that it's for the best. My mind and body can't take that stress right now.

There's lots more I could say - about Peanut and being pregnant - but I'll leave that for another day. In the meantime, please pray for Peanut and his future, as well as our baby and the pregnancy.

Whew. It's been quite a week.

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