"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Week 11 - Good news, bad news

The good news: baby is doing good. I have ultrasound pictures but those will have to be posted another day.

The bad news: I'm on bed rest. I saw the high-risk OB, Dr. C, this morning and she saw on the ultrasound that my cervix is starting to open. So, for at least the next 2 weeks, I'll be laying on my back, only getting up to use the bathroom. The goal is to make it to 12 1/2 or 13 weeks so Dr. H can put in a cerclage.

Funny how life can change so quickly.

We're trying to think positive (oh, it can be so hard!). Thankfully, we found the problem early, and Dr. C thinks I'll be able to make it to get the cerclage. I don't know what will happen from there...but I'm trying not to think about that yet. One day at a time.

Of course my regular OB is out of town, which stinks, but I'm sure he'll be giving me a call once he finds out what's going on. Because he's awesome like that.

As of now, I see Dr. C in one week. Please, please, please keep us in your prayers.

Updates won't be very long since dealing with a laptop while lying flat on your back isn't the most comfortable thing in the world. Anyone want to buy me an iPad or Kindle Fire? ;)

St. Andrew, pray for us.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Give thanks

I was so going to write about the fact that I haven't thrown up since Wednesday, and that (4 days) is by far the longest time span I've gone without throwing up for several weeks. But then I threw up a couple hours ago. I blame the fact that I was in a car for 3 hours.

I was hoping the nausea was getting better, and maybe it is, but regardless, some days it is really hard to remember that it's a good thing I feel bad. If that makes any sense. However, I truly am thankful that I did not throw up my Thanksgiving dinner. :)

I'm also thankful for Logan, who is the silliest but sweetest man I know. (His Christmas decorating skills are also top-notch. Which is totally important since I'm a terrible decorator.)  I'm thankful for Levi, the son I will meet someday, and for the baby I'm praying I will meet next summer. And I can't forget about Marley, who is the cutest and goofiest dog ever. 

I'm pretty blessed. :) And now for my favorite time of year - Advent!

1 Thessalonians 5:18 - In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.

Monday, November 21, 2011

I knew eating that hot dog was a bad idea

When I was pregnant last time, I threw up several feet away from a toilet, and Logan has never let it go. "The toilet was right there! You couldn't have made it there in time???" Despite his complaining, he cleaned up my mess and gave me a glass of Sprite. Because he's awesome. (And in my defense, I was making my way to the toilet, but sometimes it comes faster than you're expecting.)

Well, it happened again. One of the churches we frequently attend served hot dogs after mass, and I just knew I shouldn't eat one. But heck, I'm pregnant. So I ate half of one. Everything seemed to be okay.

And then I got home and tried to take my huge prenatal vitamin. And it actually went down on the first try (which is a miracle these days due to my lovely gag reflex), but then I coughed. And I said, "Oh no." Then before I knew it, that hot dog (plus whatever else in my stomach) was all over our kitchen floor.

I wish I was kidding. The whole reason I'm even telling you my puke stories is because Logan was going on and on about how he's "going to blog about this" and I figured if I beat him to it - which isn't hard, considering he hasn't written anything in a loooong time - it'd be less embarrassing for me.

I do have to say that once again, Logan picked up my mess. And he just thought it was so funny how he opened the refrigerator door and then closed it, and in that time span I managed to make a mess of the entire kitchen.

Yep, that's how I roll.

On a more serious note, I would totally appreciate any prayers that I can actually keep down my dinner, because this seems to be happening more frequently (and I swear every other time I've made it to a toilet). I feel bad because I know I'm supposed to eat healthy, but most days I feel like crap, and then throwing up my dinner certainly doesn't help. Hopefully this will only last for a couple more weeks...

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Week 9

It's amazing how much difference 3 weeks can make. Just look at our baby now! :)

The high-risk doctor, Dr. C, did the ultrasound. Everything looks good, including my cervix. I'm slightly annoyed at the fact that I've apparently been taking the wrong prenatal vitamin for 20 months. What really stinks is that I just got a refill last week that should last for 3 months, but Dr. C told me to throw them out - or give them away. Yeah, throw away $180 worth of vitamins. And then buy another 3 months worth of expensive vitamins. UGH. (Since Dr. H is AWESOME, he told me he'll track down a drug rep for free samples. Hollerrr.)

Dr. C has also apparently changed her mind about me taking Lovenox, which is totally fine. I am going to start taking some extra folic acid pills (that are also expensive...sigh) - a high dose for the next 3 weeks, and then a lower dose for the rest of the pregnancy. So, right now it looks like all I'll be taking is prenatals, folic acid, and baby aspirin. Not too bad. ;)

I saw Dr. H after seeing Dr. C, and he decided to pull out the doppler and see if we could hear our baby's heartbeat. I was a bit surprised, since I didn't realize you could hear it earlier than 10 weeks. Well. Just like our first ultrasound, we were pleasantly surprised - we heard a heartbeat! So, so cool.

The other issue is the cerclage. Dr. H still sounded like he wanted to do the cerclage at 12 weeks, although he did want Dr. C's opinion. He actually called me this evening after consulting with Dr. C, and it looks like they decided to hold off on the cerclage for now. I think the main reason is because a cerclage could cause problems if I don't actually need one. Things could change, of course, but for now they'll just keep monitoring my cervix.

All things considering, we're counting our blessings. Next appointment (with both doctors) is in 2 weeks.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Yay for morning sickness

One of the most frequent questions I've been getting lately is: "How have you been feeling?" Since I do have the whole nausea thing going on, with occasional throwing up (yuck!), I usually say, "Eh!" or "Not so good." And I just have to laugh because most people get really excited and say, "That's great!" Because apparently everyone thinks having morning sickness is a sign that it's a healthy pregnancy.  Regardless of whether or not it's actually true, I'm trying to be thankful that I'm feeling crappy, because it does indeed mean that I'm pregnant. That's a good thing!

I see both doctors next Wednesday, which is exciting because I get another ultrasound. But it's also not exciting because the high-risk doc will probably say it's time to start Lovenox. A lovely daily injection to add more pleasure to my day. ;)

On a completely random note - not pregnancy-related - our home development worker called me a couple days ago to give me an update on Peanut (because she's awesome like that!). He's adjusting to his new home, and although he is doing the same stuff he did with us (i.e. biting kids at daycare), Peanut is doing okay. What's really cool is that our home development worker is also the worker for Peanut's new caregivers, so she was able to fill me in on how he's doing. So hopefully that means we might get an occasional update.

"We are at Jesus' disposal. If he wants you to be sick in bed, if he wants you to proclaim His work in the street, if he wants you to clean the toilets all day, that's all right, everything is all right. We must say, 'I belong to you. You can do whatever you like.' And this ..is our strength, and this is the joy of the Lord." -Mother Teresa

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Our fostering future

I know I never gave too many details about how it went when Peanut left us, and I apologize (we were leaving for vacation the next day and I needed sleep). We had been talking to Peanut about the situation for the entire week leading up to him going to a different home, so he actually handled it pretty well. He wasn't upset - in fact, I blew him a kiss when his worker was pulling out of the driveway with him in the backseat, and Peanut blew a kiss right back with a big smile on his face. 

It is hard not knowing how he's adjusted to his new home, but we've been praying for him.

People have been curious as to whether or not Logan and I are still going to be foster parents. Although things could certainly change, right now we are still open to fostering at some point in the future. But our home development worker agrees with us that taking on another foster child in the midst of a high-risk pregnancy is not the smartest thing to do. So, we still got re-certified for another year (until next October), but our worker placed us on a suspension list - or "on hold" list, whatever you wish to call it. We're going to wait until next summer - after I give birth to our baby, God-willing - to decide on if we're going to continue taking foster children. People have told me that we're not going to want to do that after we have our own child, which I know is entirely possible, but for now we're just leaving it open. We'll let God decide that for us. :)

"Who except God can give you peace? Has the world ever been able to satisfy the heart?" -St.Gerard

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Suffering is necessary

I just want to say that Logan and I have been overwhelmed by the number of people who have told us they've been praying for us to conceive and will continue to pray for us throughout the pregnancy. You all are awesome.

I've been thinking a lot lately about God's timing. Even though I've always known that God's timing is perfect, there have been times in the last 2 years where I started to doubt that. And of course, God is making it very clear that His timing is indeed perfect. I don't think it's a coincidence that we decided that Peanut should be moved and then the next day we found out I'm pregnant. I also have to point out that this summer I felt like God was telling me to hold off on the fertility thing, and I didn't understand why at the time - now I know. :)

I could list more and more reasons why God's timing is just way beyond our understanding, specifically about the last 2 years of Logan's and my life, but I think you can get the point. Logan and I were just talking a few days ago about how suffering is necessary, as much as it sucks sometimes. Because there is just so much we would not have learned had we not gone through losing our son, trying to get pregnant for longer than we hoped, and fostering a 3-year old. And we can honestly say that experiencing all of that has made us more thankful for our new life growing inside me - more thankful than we could ever put into words.

St. Gerard, pray for us.


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