"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Saturday, March 31, 2012

What we do with our evenings

I spent much of my time this week going through baby gifts. That's always fun. :) Logan decided to experiment with our Moby wrap. I left the room to use the bathroom and came back to this:
We think Marley actually liked it, because she didn't try to get out....at one point she almost fell asleep. So I'm hoping Landon will like it too!

And yes, I know I have an incredibly silly husband who thought it was a good idea to put a dog in a baby sling. Gotta love him though :)

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

3rd trimester, baby!

Today is a happy day for 2 reasons: 1) it's the first time in 5 days that I wasn't up for 2 hours in the middle of the night (no clue why that was happening, because I'm always tired and haven't even been taking naps), and 2) we made it to 28 weeks! Yay.

My baby shower was on Sunday, and it was both super fun and super exhausting all at the same time. :) I'm definitely blessed with some wonderful family and friends! I would post pictures, but I left all the picture-taking to other people and haven't yet got my hands on any. Maybe soon!

It was pretty overwhelming to come home to massive amounts of baby stuff, especially because I can't do all of the preparation I would like - like setting up the baby room and everything. But Logan has definitely picked up my slack. He's quite the decorator. :)

I don't know what else to say, except that I'm still having Braxton-Hicks contractions (although some days aren't bad at all), but Landon is still active -which definitely puts my mind at ease. To think we could meet him in just a few weeks is pretty darn exciting...and a little frightening all at the same time, if I'm completely honest. :)

"Wherever God's will places us provides every opportunity to become holy." -Fr. Zachary Grant

Friday, March 23, 2012

My new hobby

I've finally started a [much needed] hobby - crochet! Logan, being the wonderful husband he is, stopped at the store to get me a crochet hook and yarn. Besides that, a YouTube video was all I needed!

The first couple of days were pretty frustrating, because I couldn't get the yarn to actually look like anything. But yesterday it finally "clicked", and I think it's safe to say I mastered the single crochet stitch. Yay! And as soon as I finish this small square cloth (what can I say? I'm a beginner :) ), I'm hoping to learn other stitches so I can make cute stuff that I'll actually use.

Crocheting definitely breaks up my day quite a bit, since I would go from reading to TV to writing, and back to reading again. So I'm very glad I decided to take people's advice and learn something new! It's definitely giving me an opportunity to learn both patience and humility too. ;)

A coworker came by to visit today, and she dropped off a gift for Landon - a blanket that she crocheted! It's beautiful, and I now have something to look at for motivation. Gotta love how things work out sometimes. :)

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Week 27

According to Dr. C, my cervix looks "relatively the same." Whatever "relatively" means....She did say Landon looks good and everything looks good. Baby is now 2 lbs 2 oz. Yay! I've still been having contractions - they've picked up again the past couple of days - so Dr. C said I could take Procardia every 4 or 5 hours if I need to. I actually started taking magnesium supplements (since Dr. H suggested it last time), and it seemed to help at first, but the evening time still brings on a heck of a lot of contractions. But at least it doesn't seem to be affecting my cervix! I think the only thing it's affecting is my peace of mind. Sigh...

Dr. H seems happier with each appointment, probably because the statistics get better and better. He didn't even check my stitches this time, for which I am thankful (it really hurts, if you want to know). He read Dr. C's report from last time since he didn't have the one from today yet, and he liked what he read. Dr. H also said that everything else looks good - blood pressure, weight, etc. He told me to "stay bored," which is funny because he was totally right without me having to say it!

I go back to see both doctors in 2 weeks. Thank you SO MUCH for all of the prayers! :)
Here's a belly shot for you ;)

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Ramblings from a melancholic

My personality and bed rest just don't go together. Seriously. While I certainly enjoy having more time to read, I do not enjoy having all the time in the world to look up new recipes and projects to do and then realize I can't do them. Because 1) that requires effort, and I'm supposed to be resting, 2) I can't wander around a store looking for ingredients/supplies. I am so that person who has to always be doing something, and I'm still having to train myself to do the complete opposite. Eh. [I live by to-do lists, and sadly enough, I still make them - and then just get frustrated when I realize I can't finish everything on the list. Yes, I'm a productivity nerd.]

It's also frustrating to think about how I was able to play a 90-minute soccer game last summer, and now I get out of breath walking from the living room to the kitchen. Not only is it frustrating to be in possibly the worst shape of my life, it's frustrating to think about how you're supposed to prepare and be in shape for childbirth, and I can't do that. Because I can't exercise. I'm practicing the whole relaxation thing, but I don't know how far that will get me if I end up being in labor for 20+ hours.

I'm sorry if it seems like I'm venting. I just need to get this out!

A priest friend pointed out to me yesterday it all goes back to abandonment to Divine Providence. And what God is calling me to do right now is to take care of myself and my baby. I never thought about it that way before, and although it seems like a pretty simple thing to do, some days it really feels like a form of suffering. And I feel silly even saying that, because sitting on your butt all day doesn't seem like it'd be suffering. But oh, how I would LOVE to run around the block right now. Or even just go shopping or something. [And before you say I can always ride one of those motorized scooters around a store, let me just tell you that I did that at Target. I ran into everything and couldn't reach anything and the little "beep beep beep" when I backed up was totally obnoxious. Although a very humbling experience, it's not something I want to try again. ;)]

I do have to say that I am very, very thankful that I at least get to stay home instead of being stuck on bed rest in the hospital. I should put a big sign in our living room saying "YOU COULD ALWAYS BE IN THE HOSPITAL" for whenever I feel like complaining. It's all about perspective, I suppose.

On a completely random note, it is a miracle that we've now made it to 26 weeks - yayyy - because after doing our taxes this weekend, I seriously thought the stress would put me in labor. But alas, Landon is still in my belly, and I am still figuring out a way not to go stir crazy at home. Two things for which I am grateful (well, I'm still working on the latter...).

"We are at his disposal. If he wants us to be sick in bed, if he wants us to proclaim his word in the street, if he wants us to clean the toilets all day, that’s all right, everything is all right. We must say, 'I belong to you. You can do whatever you like.' This is our strength and this is the joy of the Lord." - Blessed Mother Teresa

Monday, March 12, 2012

Oh, so many fears

My contractions have decreased since I started taking Procardia more often. Whew. I still do have them occasionally, though...but at least there's improvement!

The closer we get to my due date, the more I realize how many fears I have about everything. My last (and only) experience delivering a baby was literally a nightmare, and I can't help but think about something similar happening. I think being a nurse makes things worse, because I am unfortunately aware of all of the things that could happen.

I know I shouldn't think about all that, but you've got to remember I'm alone with my thoughts all day. ;)

It's also pretty nerve-wracking not knowing if Landon will come super early or not - and what kind of care he may need. But at least I have my hospital bag packed just in case! (Yes, it's true. You can never be too prepared!)

My belly has reached that point where it seems like it expands every day. Logan just looks at it and shakes his head. Silly man.

Hebrews 12:1 - Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us and persevere in running the race that lies before us.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Week 25

I saw both doctors yesterday. Dr. C said my cervix is still open, but she didn't specify as to whether or not it was worse. And I didn't ask for clarification (silly me, I know). I told her how I've been having Braxton-Hicks contractions, and she said that I shouldn't be having any, so now I'm taking Procardia every 6 hours instead of every 8. Hopefully that will help, because those darn contractions aren't the most comfortable thing in the world. Of course that means I now have to wake up twice during the night to take the pills and not just once, but I guess I shouldn't complain in the big scheme of things. Just another way to prepare me for life with a newborn. ;)

The ultrasound showed that Landon is growing normally and is currently 1 lb 12 oz. :) In the words of Dr. C: "Your baby looks good, hun. Your baby looks good!" Dr. H said that getting to 2 lbs is a milestone! Yay.

I have to admit that I was a little nervous about how my last stitch was holding up, because I've been feeling it a lot more lately (weird, I know, but it is what it is). But Dr. H said it was intact. Apparently they can come loose, so it's definitely a good thing mine is still holding strong.

After telling him too about the contractions, he suggested taking Ibuprofen whenever I feel them increasing and also said that magnesium supplements could help. I'm hoping taking Procardia more often will do the trick, but it's nice to know I have a couple back-up plans!

My blood work was done on Monday, so we went over those results. My blood sugar is normal, but I am a little anemic - so now I get to add iron supplements to my daily list of pills to take.

Dr. H seemed pretty content that we've made it to 25 weeks, and he even showed me a picture of a baby he delivered at 25 weeks gestation. That baby is now 12 years old - he showed me a current picture too - and doing really well! I thought that was cool. 28 weeks is the next big milestone, but 34 weeks is still the goal. Less than 9 weeks to go! Pretty crazy. Dr. H did make sure to tell me that they've delivered babies between 28-30 weeks who did well. I'm hoping we don't deliver that early, but you just never know what will happen!

I also asked if I would somehow have a shorter labor because of my cervix issues - now how's that for wishful thinking? ;) And basically, you just never know. Dr. H has removed stitches and then the cervix dilated 5 cm right away, but there's also been cases where the cervix wouldn't dilate because of scar tissue. I'm trying to prepare myself for whatever might happen....

Jeremiah 17:7 - Blessed are those who trust in the LORD; the LORD will be their trust.

Monday, March 5, 2012

We have TWO sons

Before I got pregnant this second time around, I used to dread getting asked, "Do you have any kids?" Because the fact was, yes, I have one, but you can't just say you have a child and expect that to be the end of it...they want to know boy or girl, how old, etc. Adding that your son is in heaven doesn't exactly make for pleasant conversation, so I usually just answered the children question with a simple no (as much as that pained me!).

So, now I'm pregnant, and you would think I wouldn't have to deal with that anymore. Well. Now when people see that I'm pregnant, they ask, "Is this your first one?" To which I inwardly groan and wish that people didn't ask so many darn questions. Thankfully, I don't get out much anymore, so I'm probably spared from some awkwardness. But yesterday I went to get some blood work done (the typical 2nd trimester stuff), and the tech drawing my blood started asking all kinds of questions. Which I know is totally normal, because a pregnant belly is just "so cute" and people are curious and all that. I just don't like the questions about having other kids.

Maybe it won't be as hard when we have a living child. But actually, that probably won't be the case. Because we will always consider Levi as a part of our family, regardless of how many children we end up having, and not being able to openly share that with people who ask is just slightly depressing. I mean, I know I could share with others, and I have if it's someone I've gotten to know well...but it's still awkward.

On a much lighter note, Landon bouncing around in my belly is seriously the best thing about being pregnant. I can't help but smile every time I feel him move!

Back to the doctor tomorrow!


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