"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

You don't have to say it - I know we're nuts

I know it's been a few months since I've talked about foster care and Bamm Bamm and Peanut. But that doesn't mean we don't think about it or the little kids we took care of.

Just like I mentioned last time, Bamm Bamm's family still sends pictures of him - usually every week or two. I also have a video of him walking! We talked about scheduling a visit, but it just hasn't happened yet. Somehow our weekends get so busy (which is so weird, since I do NOTHING during the week usually). Hopefully we'll get to see Bamm Bamm before Landon arrives.

Yesterday, our home development worker called to see how I was doing - last time she checked in was right before Christmas, so I had just gotten off bed rest the first time. Let me just say, I love our worker, because she still thinks about us and checks in despite her crazy schedule. Plus, she shares our faith, which is totally cool.

So anyway. She called to check in and wasn't surprised at all to hear that I hadn't been working. Ha. I took the opportunity to ask about Peanut, and she had actually seen him a couple weeks ago. (Let me also just say that I think it's awesome how it worked out that she's also the home development worker for Peanut's current foster family - otherwise we probably wouldn't get any updates. God is good like that!) In her words: "He's still the same little boy that left you!" Which meant that he is still biting children at daycare. It sounds like he's with very patient foster parents though (totally not Logan and me!), and they research stuff and keep on top of him at home.

Our worker told me that Logan and I were the ones that calmed him down in the first place so he was able to go into another family. That surprised me, because there are still moments where I wonder if we did enough. But she really thinks it was us and our structure that is making it possible for Peanut to be doing so well with this new family. And that was just a neat little bit of affirmation for us - that we did our part, even if it didn't feel like much at the time. Thank you, Jesus.

I've been thinking about Peanut a lot lately, because many of the books I'm reading talk about a baby's development and stress the importance of the first 3 years of life - how vital it is for a baby to have a stable home with a loving mother and father. Well, Peanut didn't have that, and it's quite obvious that it will cause him problems for the rest of his life. Totally heart-breaking.

While we're on the topic, the whole fostering thing has actually been on my mind lately. It sounds crazy, I know - we're expecting a baby in the next couple of months, and I'm thinking about whether or not we'll foster any other children in the future. Well. Logan and I have talked about it off and on, and as of now we're still wanting to do it. We have decided that we will only take babies, since our patience level hit an all-time low with Peanut, and I'm also very concerned about having a destructive toddler again around Landon (or other future children, hopefully!). Because seriously, I would not have felt comfortable having Peanut - with his unpredictable behavior - around our baby on a daily basis. And at least with a baby we'd hopefully have more time to instill some positive behavior. :)

Of course, we're still several months away from the whole fostering thing. But right now our crazy selves are still keeping that door wide open!

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