"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Monday, October 29, 2012

Our little entertainer

Wow, this past week has flown by! We've been rather busy.

The weekend before last, Landon and I went with my mom to visit her parents in Missouri for a few days- they hadn't met our little man yet. And now Landon has officially met all of his great-grandparents! Yay.

This past weekend, we had a costume party with some friends. It was more of a fall party since we don't do the Halloween thing, and of course we had to dress up Landon as well. He was our Captain America! :) (pictures to come later!)

On Saturday, we drove almost 3 hours to attend a wedding (the first of 5 we have in the next month!). Landon loved it so much that he wouldn't even take the time to eat - he was too busy looking around at everybody and everything. You should have seen him when we danced...he was loving it. So much like his daddy! ;)

I teach CCD class (AKA religion) at our church parish, and tonight I had to bring Landon for the first half hour since Logan got off work late. In my class, I have all girls and one boy. And let me tell you...the girls LOVED Landon - and he loved them right back!

Landon "talks" all the time now, and I really wish I knew what he was trying to say! It's so fun seeing his little personality come out. He still doesn't take long naps during the day, and sometimes I wonder if he thinks he's going to miss out on something! Silly boy. But man, he sure is cute!

Friday, October 19, 2012

Still thinking about our Levi

October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Monday was actually National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day, but I realized after I already posted something else that day.

I've been thinking a lot about Levi lately. I knew that once Landon was with us, we'd feel less pain when thinking about Levi. And that did happen...at first. What I didn't expect was for the opposite to happen as well. Losing Levi was the most painful experience I've had yet, and yes, Landon's arrival made all of that pain worth it. But then I realized that being a mother - and seeing Logan as a father - has been so much better than I had imagined. Seriously. Logan and I have enjoyed being parents so much, especially once Landon hit the 3-month mark. My mom told me from the beginning that it gets easier after the first 3 months, and she was totally right.

So yeah. Landon has brought us so much joy that one day it hit me: we missed out on this with Levi. I know that may sound a little pessimistic to you optimistic folks, but it's true. When we lost Levi, we knew we weren't going to see him grow up. We knew we'd never see him smile or hear him laugh. But now that Landon is here, we know how awesome those moments really are. I still do take consolation in the fact that Levi is with God right now, and honestly, that's the biggest blessing that comes from losing a baby - knowing that our job (to get him to Heaven) is complete. And that also gives us another reason to get to Heaven...so we can see our precious Levi again.

Just so you know, Landon totally looks like his brother. We took out Levi's pictures after getting home from the hospital, and it's crazy how similar they look, despite Levi being only 5 months gestation.

We have one son in Heaven praying for us and the other one here to pray with us. I don't think it gets any better than that! :)

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Happy feast day!

Today is the feast of St. Gerard! And as most of you know, we named Landon Gerard after him. We love St. Gerard and asked for his prayers every day during my pregnancy (he is the patron of expectant mothers). Needless to say, his prayers - and those of all of you - helped bring Landon into this world healthy and safely...and not too early. :)

St. Gerard, pray for us!

Monday, October 15, 2012

Best buds...one day...

When we had Bamm Bamm, I talked about Marley being jealous...and she is definitely getting more jealous the older Landon gets. At first, she pretty much left him alone, but now that he's awake more and making more noise, she's all up in his space. If I sit on the ground with Landon, Marley literally tries to get in between us and climb in my lap. Yeah. Not jealous at all...

The good thing, though, is that she isn't chewing up diapers anymore like she did with Bamm Bamm. She's actually better behaved now that Landon is here...I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I was pregnant this time around. Perhaps she knew it was coming?

I thought it would be funny to go back and find pictures with both Landon and Marley in it. As jealous as she is, I know she loves him. One day they'll be best buds...as soon as he starts crawling!
First time seeing each other! For some reason that feels like forever ago
 That same day we came home from the hospital
 I just wish I knew what Landon was thinking...
 Funny thing is that Marley never curled up next to me when I had Landon...she came by me when I'm wasn't holding him. And now she likes to make her way in between us.
 And this is why tummy time never lasts long
 Guard dog
 You can't look at Landon without paying attention to Marley! She tried to get in my dad's way right here
This giraffe mat is so comfy that we can't leave it on the ground - otherwise Marley will lie down on it. I left it on the couch once, and when Logan got home he found it halfway across the house. Can you imagine that crazy dog dragging this giraffe everywhere??

I just love this one! My babies :)

I took these next ones this weekend, and you'll see how Marley has to be right next to Landon and me. 
Yeah, I was sitting right next to Landon, so there was NO ROOM, but Marley jumped up anyway.
As soon as Marley hears that we're awake (on the weekends we lay there for a few minutes because Landon is SO happy when he first wakes up), she has to jump in bed and join the party...even if it means getting in the way.

I know those of you who aren't too fond of dogs probably think I'm crazy, but you have to remember that Marley spent 4 months with me on bed rest. So she's my baby girl :) But Landon is most definitely priority!

Friday, October 12, 2012

A year already?!

Today is one year exactly from the day we found out we were pregnant with Landon. The whole pregnancy seemed like it went by SO slowly, but now that he's 4 months old, it feels like this past year flew by! Crazy how time works.

Even though last night was the WORST night of sleep we've gotten as a family (ironically), we wouldn't trade it for anything. In fact, I'd do it all over - crazy pregnancy and all - in a heartbeat. :)

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Growing boy: 4 months (and 3 months, oops)

Landon made 4 months on Friday! I think this past month he grew the most. He's also "talking" a lot more, and grabbing and playing with toys. Things have definitely gotten more fun...Landon just loves to interact with people!
 And I always say better late than never, so here's his 3-month picture...

Monday, October 8, 2012

4-month check-up

Can you believe this baby boy is 4 months old already? Sigh.

I totally forgot to post Landon's 4-month picture on Friday, so I'll try to upload that from our camera soon (I forgot to take one with my phone too, dangit). And actually, I never posted his 3-month picture. Oops.

Anyways. His 4-month appointment was this morning, and I bet you're wondering how much he weighs, right? 13 pounds! Oh yes. Everything else looks good too. He seriously was so happy the entire time, and then came the shots. It's been a rough day since then. Say a prayer for the little guy!

Man, we love this boy.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Foster Care Update

Ah, yes. Foster care. It's hard to believe it's been almost a year since we decided to have Peanut moved to another home (and found out we were pregnant!). I've gone back and read posts from our experiences with him, and man...I still can't believe we went through that. There were definitely some funny moments (in retrospect, anyways...).

So, last October we were placed on a suspension list - well, let's call it an "on hold" list, because that sounds much better - once we found out we were pregnant. It's a good thing, too, eh? We knew there was a chance our pregnancy would be rather eventful, and it certainly was.

Anyways, our home development called this month to see where we stood regarding foster care. We knew that was coming, since you can be put "on hold" for a year. So, we had actually been talking about fostering, and we knew we still wanted to do it - but just weren't sure when to start back up again. Our worker asked me if we were interested in a placement in the next 3 months. Otherwise, we'd have to be removed from the program.

Logan and I decided we wanted to wait until Landon is a year old to start fostering again (just so we can soak up every moment!). The good news is that we have a year from now to take another child before they make us take the certification classes all over again. But for now, we're being removed from the program. And, God-willing, we will join again next summer and have another foster child shortly thereafter.

I've learned by now not to make plans, though - seriously, it's like the one thing God seems to be teaching me over and over again - so I know that could change. We shall see!

This seems to be a perfect time for an update on Bamm Bamm and Peanut, soooo....

Bamm Bamm has grown so much! His family has been great with updating us, so we regularly get pictures of him. He's still a cutie :) We tried to schedule a visit when I was pregnant, but things were so crazy that it never worked out. Hopefully it'll happen soon, though.

Peanut is still with the same family he went to after leaving us, and they plan to adopt him soon. That makes me feel much better, because I was so worried he would be one of those kids that went from home to home his entire life. He still bites and everything else, but overall, it sounds like his behavior has improved.

We only fostered 2 kids within 6 months, but man, those experiences will stay with us forever.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Best of both worlds

The last part of Landon's feeding saga was about the yeastie beasties. And since then, the yeastie beasties haven't been much of an issue (they tried making another appearance but thankfully it didn't last). Nursing did get better. My milk supply, on the other hand, has only slightly increased. I talked to the lactation nurse again, who assured me I did everything I could and said that breastfeeding doesn't have to be all or nothing. So, we've been doing both nursing and formula, and will continue to do so as long as possible.

We still don't know why I don't have enough milk. I had my thryoid level checked and it was normal.  I'm starting to wonder if it had anything to do with the fact that Landon was (and is) such a great sleeper at night. Who knows? I have accepted it, though, and will just try again with our next baby (God-willing).

I was actually surprised at the amount I pumped at work on Friday, since it was more than I'd gotten previous times. And the other encouraging thing is that it hasn't decreased. But I'm not counting on having my supply increase enough to stop supplementing (although I guess it's still possible). With the exception of when I'm at work, I stopped pumping - both for my sanity and Logan's. It's still not easy having to both breastfeed and bottle-feed, but it's been worth it.

I kind of feel like I'm not making much sense, and if that's the case, I'm sorry. I just still feel like I can't go into detail without being misunderstood. Still working on that.

The important thing is that Landon is happy and healthy- and for that we are grateful!


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