I think God was really trying to drive home the fact that it is indeed Holy Week. Because, well, today was seriously the roughest day I've had in quite awhile. I thought it would be a good day, since Landon didn't wake up to nurse until 6:30! But no.
I've been going to daily mass twice a week during Lent, and usually I walk there, stroller and all. When I run late, I end up running to mass (literally!). It's actually been pretty neat. We go for walks anyway, and we go to mass, so why not do it all at the same time? (Praise God we live close enough!)
So yeah, I've been walking to mass. Today, however, Landon fought me on EVERYTHING, and I considered not going, since I figured he'd probably fight me during mass too. But since it's Holy Week, I resolved to go. God will throw me some extra graces, right? Right.
We had to drive to make it there, and even then, we were still were late (and I realize people with kids are often late, but for some reason, this has rarely happened for us). Landon was such a handful during mass that I got looks of pity/sympathy during the sign of peace. Yeah. And Father made a comment about Landon "singing" when we went up for communion. I wasn't too worried about people getting annoyed since there were less than 10 people there (small parish, I tell ya), but man, I was just physically and emotionally TIRED. Like, I almost cried. In mass. No shame. I probably looked like a wreck...hair thrown up in a messy ponytail, Landon's boogers alllll over my sweatshirt, and holding a squirmy/fussy baby.
[On a side note, I just went to wash a load of diapers and to my dismay, realized I left a dirty cloth diaper at church, in the cry room from changing him after mass. It's in a wet bag, but I hope someone doesn't find it and throw it away! Ah!]
After mass, we went to the store, and thankfully he slept most of the time. But once we got home, I had the pleasure of changing one of those lovely cloth diapers full of poop. Landon is at that age where he DOES NOT LIKE diaper changes, and I'm seriously out of breath by the time we finish because he's constantly flipping over on his stomach and trying to crawl off. Usually I'm chasing him trying to wipe his booty and then snap the new diaper on him.
This time was no different. He fought me a little extra, though, so poop flew everywhere. (If you cloth diaper you know how easy solid poop sliiiiiides right off. Yep. Fun with a baby that squirms.)
My ridiculous day continued like that with frustration after frustration (where I wanted to curl up in a corner and cry) until 3:30, when I put Landon down for a nap. I was all ready to mop my floors and enjoy the quiet when the window guy shows up for our appointment - 30 minutes early. Thanks window guy....thanks a lot.
Really, though, it was a good thing Landon was asleep while the window guy was here, but I can't help but be slightly annoyed that Landon took the longest nap ever in his crib. One hour and 40 minutes. IN HIS CRIB. Seriously, he only naps that long in the car, or if I nurse him for part of it. And of course I was not able to enjoy those blessed 100 minutes and do whatever the heck I wanted. *Sigh*
So, the whole reason I'm even telling you about my ridiculous day is because every time something less-than-desirable happened, I couldn't help but think about Jesus's Passion. And to complain about a poop incident, a fussy baby, etc. is just a tad bit silly when I think about the suffering Jesus went through for us.
In a way, I'm glad this overwhelming day happened this week, because at any other time of year it would have been really, really easy to sink into a state of self-pity. Not today, my friends, not today. (Not gonna lie, I was close!)
Here's to a Holy Week of waiting, preparing, and anticipating the Paschal Mystery.
Isiah 42:16 - I will lead the blind on a way they do not know; by paths they do not know I will guide them. I will turn darkness into light before them, and make crooked ways straight. These are my promises: I made them, I will not forsake them.