"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Levi's Story: Part 2

Today is St. Gerard's feast day! St. Gerard, pray for us!

If you haven't already, read the beginning here. This 2nd part is harder to read (each part gets more difficult)...

After what seemed like forever, the nurses finally gave me some pain medicine. It did help some, but there were still several contractions that were so painful that I all I could do was lay there and moan. The medicine kind of made me out of it, so from then on, I just remember bits and pieces of everything. It was a very long night and morning. Between periods of pain, I would fall asleep, and then I’d wake up moaning. I remember just wanting everything to be over with.

The ultrasound showed that I was dilated and that the membranes (water bag) were bulging through my cervix, so I was on strict bedrest. The nurses also put my bed in Trendelenburg position – with my feet higher than my head. They did not want any pressure on the membranes, for fear that they would rupture prematurely. I remember one of the nurses at one point giving me medicine to stop the contractions, but it didn’t seem to help. I also remember asking later why the contractions weren’t stopping, but I don’t think the nurses ever gave me an answer. Or maybe I just don’t remember. It’s like moments of that night are blocked out – either thanks to the pain medicine or to the pain itself.

When one of the nurses came in to give me more pain medicine, I asked, “How long am I going to have to stay in the hospital?” Since it didn’t seem like things were getting any better, I didn’t know what to expect. The nurse didn’t beat around the bush – “Until the baby is delivered most likely. Maybe until you’re 30-something weeks along.” I couldn’t believe it. Everything was going so perfectly with my pregnancy, and now it seemed like I’d spend the next few months in the hospital. What was I going to do all day? What about my job? Never did I think that there’d be a more horrible outcome than being stuck in a hospital for the remainder of the pregnancy.

I’m not sure at what time it happened, but Logan had left the room to call his dad, and the nurses weren’t in there either. I had the worst contraction ever and remember yelling because it hurt so badly. Then suddenly, I felt a gush of water. The bed was on an incline (feet up, head down), so the water burst upward and then ran back down all the way to my head. It was awful. I was in pain and soaking wet, and the lights were off, so I was in almost complete darkness. I didn’t have the call light by me and couldn’t find it due to the darkness (remember, it was not a normal L&D room, so there wasn't one attached to the stretcher bed). All I could do was to yell for help. I called out a few times and realized that I would really have to yell for someone to hear me. So I started yelling. I felt silly - trust me, I am NOT a yeller - but I did not want to lie there in wet sheets. Plus, I knew that my water breaking was not good at all, because that can cause the baby to come. After yelling for a few minutes, it seemed like forever until Logan and the nurses all came rushing in. All I said was, “I think my water broke…” The nurses looked at me in surprise, and I quickly added that maybe I just used the bathroom on myself (silly, I know, but you’ve got to remember, pain medicine was involved). One of the nurses verified that my water did indeed break, and they cleaned me up and got a new gown for me.

Since Logan had already called both of our parents, he asked if I wanted him to call my sister-in-law. She and my brother live near us, so I nodded my head. At this point, we knew things had taken a huge turn for the worst. And even though it was the middle of the night, we wanted our family to know what was going on.

The on-call doctor came in the room and explained that she did not want me moving at all, so the nurses were going to put a catheter in me. The doctor also explained that I might deliver the baby during one of my contractions. “The baby may slide right out without you realizing it,” she said softly. I didn’t know what to think. Would he be alive? Would anything be wrong with him? There were so many questions that I didn’t know what to say out loud. So I didn’t say anything.

Two of the nurses got ready to put a catheter in, and just as they were about to insert it, another wave of pain came upon me. I started squirming in discomfort, and the nurses patiently waited for the pain to subside until they continued with the catheter. They were finally able to put it in successfully, and it was actually a bit of relief to not have to get on a bedpan anymore.

My brother, Michael, and his wife, Lindsey, arrived at the hospital with their son Max around 5:30 a.m. Lindsey and I are really close, so I explained to her what happened, that my water broke, and how I might push the baby out any minute. Even in the dark room, I could tell she was trying not to cry. I finished my explanation saying, “And now we’re basically just waiting.” Waiting for the baby to come, waiting for my doctor to arrive, waiting for a miracle. No matter how you looked at it, we were all just waiting.

Michael, Lindsey, and Max went to the waiting room so I could get some rest. Logan’s parents live close to us as well, so they arrived at the hospital shortly after my brother. My parents live 3 hours away, and Logan informed me they would drive up after my dad took care of some things at work (they ended up staying with us the rest of the week). I was very grateful for everyone’s support. Although I usually don’t like to inconvenience people, this was one time where I really needed my family with me.

While it was just Logan and me in the darkened room, I heard the bathroom sink turn on for a second. Then, I felt Logan’s hands over my belly and heard him whisper the words, “I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” Logan, as the head of our family, was baptizing our son. Even though I knew it needed to be done, the realization sort of hit me – it needed to be done because Levi probably wasn’t going to make it.

To be continued

1 comment:

  1. The entire story is moving, of course...but the part about Logan taking it upon himself to Baptize baby Levi brings me to tears. Next time I'll be careful not to read while at work. <3


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