"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

This may seem like a fertility post...but it's kind of not

First off, I want to say thank you for all of the kind messages received from Levi's Story. Y'all are sweet :)

So. I know you love my fertility-related posts. And if you don't, wellllll, too bad so sad.

I mentioned before how I have really long cycles. Always have. I've only had 2 full ones since Landon was born, first one started around his birthday that lasted 67 days and this last one was 72 days. The good thing about that is that I don't have to deal with my period that often. Which is nice because, well, they aren't too fun. Unless you're one of those lucky women that doesn't get bad cramps or bleed much. (Does that happen? If so, I'm jealous.)

But then the flip side of long cycles is that Logan and I have a whopping FIVE CHANCES A YEAR to get pregnant. I don't like those odds.

At this point, I still am quite content with my life, despite having the desire to have more kids. For a few months, I was not too keen about being pregnant again. Oh, the joys of a high-risk pregnancy. But I will admit, that as time passes, the desire to be pregnant again is actually growing. Although I like to say we're not not trying to get pregnant, technically we are trying. I'm not charting other than keeping track of my period, but I do know when I'm ovulating.

When this last cycle ended and fun Aunt Flo paid me a visit, I'm not going to lie - I was a little disappointed. We do want another baby. But, I wasn't devastated. I know God will bless us with another baby in His timing. In one way or another. (Y'all, I want to adopt. For real. It's always been on my heart.)

Honestly, right now I feel as if God is providing Logan and me with the opportunity to help and be available to our friends and family who are going through more difficult times. Although we only have one day a week as a family right now, we are so very blessed. We are healthy, our home is intact, and we aren't going through any major life changes right now. That has allowed us to offer both ourselves and our home to other people who can't exactly say the same right now. 

It wouldn't be so easy to do that if I was pregnant and on bed rest. And the fact that I only have one child to care for makes it easier to be available to people as well...especially now that Landon is sleeping REALLY well. Woo hoo! I have a [relatively] clean house even though it's felt like I'm running a hotel these days.

I'm not sure what point I was trying to make with all of this, but....yeah. I want kids bad and lots of them but I'm trying to be okay with the fact that it might not happen. But maybe it will and I'm just getting all teary-eyed for nothing (HORMONES, YOU SUCK). Only time will tell.

In the meantime, I'm reminding myself that God has called us to this state of life right now. Gonna live it up, baby.

"Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God." – Jim Elliot

2 comments:

  1. I love the raw thought of this post - its like we are having a glass of wine together! :) Yes you live it up honey, cause three babies in under 3.5 years...well its not even here yet, but lawdy-lawdy, its a little crazy some days. The Lord has good things in store. Keep on hostin' and being that bed and breakfast and kind someone. I can't even imagine a high-risk pregnancy. Average ones send me to the moon and back some days! Blessed be the Lord for each precious life.

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  2. Thanks Suzette, a glass a wine sounds fun...maybe someday it will be in real life ;) Oh, God bless you and my other friends having several babies in just a few years. I can only imagine the exhaustion and chaos. But you are doing it beautifully!

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