"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

The devil sucks. But newborn babies rock!

Well. It's easy to get carried away with what could happen in the next 6 months. Really easy. Not knowing what the results of the blood test will be, not knowing what will happen after, not knowing exactly when I will get a cerclage.

As crazy as it sounds, though, I almost don't want to know the test results. Because really, it won't change the way we want to proceed with the rest of the pregnancy. I know some people are going to think I'm crazy, and that's okay. I know we need to be prepared for anything, and trust me, I've gone through a million scenarios in my head already.

But knowing the test results won't change anything. I don't think I'll feel better. There are false negatives and false positives, so regardless of what we learn (or don't learn), I'm still bracing myself for the unexpected. Because apparently that's what our life consists of when I'm pregnant. I almost want to laugh sometimes, because really - how many different scenarios can we be put in?

Thankfully, the grace of God really is a powerful, powerful thing. I think certain things, and immediately I know that it's what the devil wants me to think. Why can't I have a normal pregnancy?! Haven't we been through enough already? 

So I try to dwell on the fact that God gave us this baby for a reason, although I have no idea what that reason is at this point. And as much as I really, really wish this whole childbearing thing could be just a little bit easier sometimes, I am so thankful for my babies, and I know many people would probably give anything to be in my shoes. It's all about perspective, I guess.

Logan and I are very much at peace right (praise God), so I know we made the right decision about holding off on the CVS. We feel so utterly blessed by all of the kind words and encouragement over the last few days, and we really appreciate the prayers. I can feel them, for sure.

And now for some happy happy happy things! My cousin and his wife welcomed their sweet baby boy into the world yesterday. And then my brother (whose birthday is today!) and his wife welcomed their sweet twin daughters into the world this morning. They're doing really well, and I am so, so excited! I mean, seriously, could they be any cuter?!

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