"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Week 17 (+6 days): we need a vacation

Yesterday evening I had more cramping than I've had before and I just didn't feel right. It's hard to explain, really. I was definitely having Braxton-Hicks contractions, and I wasn't sure if I was cramping too or what. I just kept thinking, "I don't feel right." I was tempted to call the on-call doctor for the first time this pregnancy, but I figured he/she would just tell me to lie back, drink water, etc. So that's what I did. Things did get a little better but I still felt like something wasn't right.

Logan went to my chapel hour for me so I was in bed when he got home - I thought that was the best thing to do. But then I started cramping (as I was lying in bed! after I stuck the progesterone up there!) and had the hardest time falling asleep because of it. Seriously, I have not been that nervous thus far, and I am not one to freak out (seriously, my friends thought I should have called the doctor last night before I had gone to bed but I didn't).

Things were better when I woke up this morning, although I still felt a dull ache down there. So I called Dr. H, who wasn't in the office today. That's when having 2 doctors comes in handy - I talked to one of Dr. C's nurses, who said they'd call me back once Dr. C arrived in the office. They ended up wanting me to go in for an ultrasound.

My cervix looked good, thankfully. Dr. C did give me Procardia (which I took with Landon, later on in the pregnancy) to take whenever I had a lot of cramping. She tried looking at Chase's heart but couldn't get a good view. Not sure if I should be worried or not…but she said she'll look again in a couple weeks.

It is a relief to know my cervix is still hanging in there - it must be scarred shut by now or something -but I still can't help but be really nervous. Before I was even pregnant, I just had a feeling that my next pregnancy would not be easy (seriously, I told my sister-in-law that wayyy back!) and so far that has been the case. I honestly have this fear of ending up in the hospital - something I did not worry about as much when I was pregnant with Landon.

Logan doesn't want me to do much of anything, but he's too busy to keep up with everything himself, so he's super stressed (I try to do some things around the house but I think that stresses Logan out even more). And because Logan is so stressed, our communication has not been…well…ideal. Logan's stress is stressing me out, basically. As well as me not being able to do much. I mean, seriously, it's so pretty outside! This is when I soooo wish we had a fence so I could take Landon outside and not worry about having to chase him down the driveway.

So! We're trying to go on a marriage retreat next month, and so far it looks like it's working out! I was worried because it's a weekend thing and Logan works every weekend, but he's just going to use his PTO days. Because seriously, we need a break. Go look at this website to see how wonderful this retreat looks. Just Logan and me for the weekend, with mass, confession, adoration, and more. Is there anything better? I think not.

Thanks for the prayers as always, and please keep them coming!

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