"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Friday, June 27, 2014

Our week in pictures: sleeping, eating, and soccer

They watch a new episode of TMNT online every week (yes, seriously) and Landon couldn't hang this week.
A little ice cream treat after the World Cup game on Sunday

Take 1
Take 2
I don't know how this kid manages to sleep comfortably
The World Cup is making us eat out more (so we can watch the game without the internet going out on us) so our budget is blown buuuuut I don't really care. This gal has got to eat and there is no way I'm missing out on a chance to eat out AND watch soccer. Holla. (Chase is going to come out loving Mexican food. Mmmmm.)
Landon would not let Logan take a picture of us but he was totally okay with taking a selfie. Figures.
Someone decided to throw all of the toys out of the storage bench. I spared you the picture of the play room. 

Monday, June 23, 2014

Answer Me This…and some randomness

First are some random thoughts/happenings/ideas/whatev:
  • The crazy World Cup games might make me go into labor. For reals.
  • My parish priest is so very wonderful and blessed Chase today (and heard my much-needed confession). And now I feel better and not so paranoid (okay, still paranoid, but I do feel more at peace). Did you know there's a Rite for the Blessing of a Child in the Womb? Yes, yes there is. If you're pregnant you should ask a priest about it.
  • Someone needs to invent a translator thingy for 2-year olds. Landon has just been talking and talking and talking and most of the time I'm like "Can you speak English please?" It's cute and all but I reallllly wish I could understand him better.
  • A trip to Target is more exhausting than a trip to the zoo. I know it sounds crazy but seriously. I've only done a handful of grocery trips this pregnancy (by myself) and every single one just wears.me.out.
  • Is it possible for a husband to do the nesting for a pregnant woman? Because I totally think Logan is. And he's going to make me crazy because of it. For better or worse, baby.

And now I'm linking up with Kendra for the first time because I'm sure you don't want to hear about how pregnant I feel and HOW FREAKIN' HOT IT IS. #julyduedate #louisianaheat

1. When's the last time you got a new bathing suit?
Ummmm. I think I did last year. Ain't happening this year with this big ol' belly…I'm borrowing a maternity one from my sister-in-law. We are going to the beach in September though so I'm hoping my bathing suit from last year will fit by then. Yikes.

2. Who made the last incoming call on your phone?
My daddy. Kinda funny because there's people I talk to on the phone regularly and he's not one of them. He's not the talking-on-the-phone type :)

3. If you receive communion, do you receive it in the hands or on the tongue?
On the tongue. I grew up receiving on the hand and considered receiving on the tongue in college but it made me nervous (is that weird?) so I never did. And then I went to Guatemala for a medical mission in 2008. I went to mass there and EVERYONE received on the tongue so I did too. Been receiving on the tongue ever since! 

4. Do you have a tattoo?
Nope. Not interested.

5. How many dinner plates are in your house?
Are dinner plates the big ones? If so, we probably have a dozen. I don't know because we rarely ever use them.we always use the salad plates (assuming those are the smaller plates, I really should know these things). My brother tells Logan and me that we eat like birds and one friend tells us we eat like rabbits. Needless to say, Logan and I aren't big eaters. Which makes pregnancy hard because I have to force myself to eat and that's just not fun. I knowI'm weird.

Sorry. Totally went off subject there.

6. Do you have an accent?
I find this a funny question because who ever admits they have an accent? I don't think I do and have never been told that…but I wouldn't be surprised if a northerner thought I sounded southern. I do say "y'all" a lot but that doesn't mean I have an accent, right?

I'll tell you who does have an accent though! My sister. She totally acquired it once she moved to North Carolina and I find it hilarious. Sorry, Jess. :)

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Our week in pictures: summer and sleep

I don't remember who gave him this for his birthday but seriously, I want to give them a big hug
Crazy morning hair
Filling up Landon's new pool from Noanie and Paw Paw!
He was just a little excited :)
I know this picture is not very flattering of me but Landon is just so darn cute
Why yes, this is how he napped one day. He fights it til the bitter end.

Friday, June 20, 2014

Week 35: 4 weeks or less!

I'm starting to feel like the hospital is my second home. This morning I had an appointment with Dr. H and then I had a NST. All the women in Dr. C's office (where I have the NSTs) are always like "You haven't had that baby yet?" No, I haven't. "You've been pregnant forever." Yes, yes I have.

My cervix is still fine and Dr. H is chill about everything as always, even though Dr. C seems to have a new problem with every report he gets. They really do balance each other out well. He said a lot of times when they send a placenta off to get analyzed after birth, there's a problem with it even though there's nothing wrong with the baby.

When I asked about the chances of Chase having a chromosome issue (which is what I'm a little paranoid about), Dr. H did say that's what Dr. C has been worried about all along, but usually the baby would be on the smaller side. So, we shall see, I guess. He did say it was better that I was concerned than not concerned. Maybe so I'm not blindsided if Chase does have something going on?

Anyway. I brought up the whole VBAC thing again, and Dr. H gave me some very valid points as to why he doesn't want to do one. He was probably more honest with me than most patients, which I appreciated. If I had a history of successful vaginal deliveries (I'm assuming he isn't counting Levi who was just over a pound), it'd be different, but we still don't know how big my pelvis is. The chances of a successful VBAC is 50%. I'm thinking I'd probably end up on the unsuccessful side of that statistic since I'm small with what appears to be a big baby. So, repeat C-section is for real happening. Sigh.

I'm not entirely sure I will make it to 39 weeks when my surgery is scheduled, so I asked what would happen if I went into labor before then. Basically, once I'm 37 weeks, Dr. H would just go ahead and do the C-section. But if it was in the next 2 weeks, he'd probably try to stop labor - although he wouldn't be too heroic about it. He really sees 34 weeks as a big milestone.

So, that's that. Even though I feel super huge and am getting reallllly tired of random strangers being all like "When's that baby due? Any day?" and staring at me like they've never seen a pregnant woman before…it is pretty darn cool to think that Chase will be here in exactly 4 weeks or less! I CANNOT WAIT.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Fun at the Zoo

We wanted to wait until Landon was at a good age before we brought him to the zoo for the first time (you know, when he'd actually appreciate it!). And welllll by that time I got pregnant. So we waited until the blessed 34-week mark before taking him. It was so much fun! Landon loved it and his cousins even joined us which made it even better. I didn't go into labor either which is always a plus ;)
Happy 5-year anniversary to us!
The zoo in New Orleans is pretty darn cool. Next time we go, we want to buy a membership, which includes the aquarium and insectarium too! (We lucked out this time and got guest passes from a friend. Hollerrrr.) Logan works weekends, which stinks, but the good thing about that is we get to go do fun things during the week when it's not as crowded. Like the zoo!

Landon and Dominic did really well….riding in the wagon to each exhibit and then getting out if they wanted. Then they got back in the wagon (no fussing!) to ride to the next exhibit.
 The chimpanzees have always been my favorite!

Logan handled the boys, Lindsey handled the baby girls, and I sat every chance I got (pretty much every exhibit had a place to sit and if it didn't I walked ahead to find one) and drank lots of water. :)

 We took a break to enjoy the AC and some lemonade. These boys could have fun anywhere!

 Logan always thinks it's funny that I don't have to duck to walk through the kids' trail
Maaaaaaybe Logan should have tried to take this photo at the beginning and not the end. Poor baby was so tired. But we had fun! Can't wait until next time.

Monday, June 16, 2014

Crazy, paranoid…you pick the adjective.

It's been awhile since I've indulged you with my crazy talk. Part of the reason is because things were looking pretty good for awhile as far as Chase is concerned. Yes, my fluid level was high, my cervix was open, etc….but all things considering, things were going pretty smoothly.

And now that my placenta is looking even more ridiculous, welllll all of these thoughts that I've actually been having the last few months (deep down) are all like YOU CAN'T IGNORE US NOW.

Crazy talk. I told you.

Sooo the closer we get to Chase's delivery, the more and more I get just a little more nervous about how it's going to turn out. There have just been too many weird things happen this pregnancy that I can't help but think that it won't be a normal delivery and that Chase won't be completely healthy.

Thick neck, a suspected hole in the heart, too much amniotic fluid, a yucky placenta. Seriously? I know we've ruled out a lot of things and if it had just been one isolated problem, I wouldn't worry, but….it's been one thing after another. Am I crazy? I feel crazy. I'm even borrowing a friend's Doppler until Chase is born (something I said I would never do) because now I'm all paranoid when 10 minutes goes by and I haven't felt Chase move. Even though I know that's completely normal.

[Okay, so maybe I was just paranoid last Wednesday because Chase decided to get all comfy and barely moved so I was trying not to freak out. He was moving, but it was like a nudge here and there and nowhere near the activity I had been feeling previously. The Doppler is now in my possession to hopefully prevent me from losing.my.mind. But thankfully, I've only used it once because Chase is back to his roly poly self.]

I was actually really looking forward to this delivery, because even if I have another C-section (which is the plan at the moment…is it bad I'm still hoping for a VBAC?), I'll get the chance to do skin-to-skin in the OR this time. HOW COOL IS THAT? But now I'm all worried that Chase is going to have something wrong with him where they whisk him away to the NICU.

And of course I'm also worried that my placenta is going to poop out on us and we won't catch it in time and…I don't like to think about that outcome.

Sigh. It's a good thing we're naming this sweet boy Chase Michael because St. Michael…defend us in battle! Please and thank you!

Oh! And we've been asking for Blessed Francis Xavier Seelos's intercession throughout this pregnancy ever since that ultrasound in January. So if you could ask Blessed Seelos for prayers on Chase's behalf that would be so very wonderful. :)

"One great means of preserving constant peace and tranquility of heart is to receive all things as coming from the hands of God, whatever they may be, and in whatever way they may come." - St. Dorotheus 

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Our week in pictures: plus a few extra

I think Logan snuck behind me and made a face so Landon was copying him. Silly boys.

Our anniversary dinner!
Fun at the zoo (still haven't uploaded my camera pics…I'll get to it)
Marley looks funny because she blinked when the flash went off.

And here are a few from the last few months in honor of Father's Day and how much we love Logan!

Happy Father's Day!

Thursday, June 12, 2014

34 weeks pregnant! 5 years of marriage!

Today is a good day. First off, I'm 34 weeks pregnant! Which is a big deal. It was Dr. H's goal, and if for some reason I go into labor, taking my cerclage out early is now an option, I think.
I'm definitely as big (if not bigger) as I was the day I delivered Landon at 38 weeks. Craziness.
Landon has never been to the zoo, and I told Logan a looooong time ago that I wanted to go once I was 34 weeks along, assuming my cervix was okay. And it is. So we went today! Which was perfect since it's also our anniversary and Logan was off work. (Don't worry, I sat A LOT. And I barely had any contractions. Hollerrrr.) More pictures from the zoo will come another day, of course.

Secondly, Logan and I are celebrating 5 crazy wonderful years of marriage! It's definitely been a wild ride but I wouldn't trade it for anything. 
I'll spare you from any more old pictures today. You're welcome.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Week 33 (+5 days): darn you placenta

Say hello to Chase. All 5 lbs 9 oz of him!

My cervix is a little open (big shocker there) but apparently I have a really long cervix. Dr. C and the ultrasound tech were both pleasantly surprised. So that's good.

The big problem now is my damn placenta. It hasn't looked very good for a few months now, and it just keep getting worse. Seriously, it is SO noticeable on the ultrasound (even to my untrained eye) that it has gotten bigger each time. Dr. C was not happy with how it looked - she even said it looks like I smoke 10 packs a day! Although I have definitely never smoked a day in my life.

So, the good news is that Chase looks good and the blood flow from the placenta looks fine right now. But there is the possibility that my placenta could stop working….so Dr. C kept saying to go to the hospital if I started feeling less movement. She said I might go to the hospital for nothing, but it's one of those "better safe than sorry" situations because I could in fact save Chase's life by getting to the hospital early enough if my placenta did start having problems.

Dr. C also said that we need to get the placenta checked out after birth. It appears that my placenta is overcompensating for some reason, and getting it analyzed might tell us is Chase needs extra nutrition or something. (I'm sorry if I'm not explaining this well, Dr. C is hard to understand sometimes).

I think my placenta is the main reason why I'm getting non-stress tests twice a week. They want to make sure Chase is fine! I won't have another ultrasound for 3 weeks instead of 2 weeks this time because of Dr. C's schedule, which makes me nervous, but I'm definitely glad we'll be monitoring Chase with the NST's.
It's kind of blurry-looking because Chase has his face smooshed against my placenta. But my oh my, check out those lips! :)

Prayers for my placenta to hold on are greatly appreciated! And thank you all for the prayers thus far because I know it's the reason why Chase is still growing!

Sunday, June 8, 2014

What people never tell you about engagement

So I may or may not have promised some pictures from our engagement after the lovely post from our dating years. And if you don't care, wellllll, sorry. It's my blog and I do what I want. Our anniversary is in a few days so I got to post this baby first!

Instead of just boring you with pictures, though, I thought I'd also share a few things that surprised me about our 10 months of being engaged. So, here goes. Pictures and maybe TMI (you know me)…
 These 2 pictures are from our engagement session with Photography by Louis. He was fun to work with!
I just love how we were able to capture our Catholic faith in these pictures with the St. Louis Cathedral behind us as well as the beauty of New Orleans!

So. Engagement. Such an exciting time, for sure! But why did nobody tell us how hard it would be?!

Maybe part of it is because Logan and I were still in school. We got engaged at the end of July, and I graduated from nursing school that December. Logan didn't graduate until the following May, a few weeks before our wedding.

So in addition to finishing school, I was also thrust into my first big girl job as a registered nurse. Working the night shifts. Which I hated. Logan and I barely saw each other it seemed, and when we did, I had trouble staying awake because…night shift. Did I mention I hated the night shift?

Pretty sure I could have been diagnosed with depression during that time. Seriously.

Anyway. Let's break up the depression with some more pictures!
 My cousin got married a month before us…this was at their rehearsal dinner.

It seemed like everyone talked about how hard it was to plan a wedding. But honestly, it wasn't very stressful, in my opinion. Maybe because I wasn't that girl who's been planning my wedding since I was 6 years old. It was a lot of work, yes, but we kept things pretty simple, I think. After all, the marriage is more important than the wedding, right?!
And this was right before my cousin's wedding! I was a bridesmaid so it was pretty crazy to get to "practice" walking down the aisle a month before I did as a bride.

Logan and I were virgins when we got married, and although the chastity bit wasn't exactly easy when we were dating, it go SO MUCH HARDER once we were engaged. How the heck do people have long engagements? Seriously. 10 months is long enough.

I remember a priest telling me that engagement was hard because Logan and I had already made the commitment to marriage in our hearts, so it was only natural to want to make that commitment with our bodies. So, so true. Thankfully, though, God showered us with grace, and we even used the Lenten season to refrain from excessive kissing (and ended up extending that until our wedding). Sounds silly, I know, but I honestly think that was one of the best decisions we made. It allowed us to focus on the Sacrament as a whole...and not just the physical stuff. ;)

We were thrown a very lovely stock-the-pantry shower. Which really was awesome because Logan was still living with his parents and I had been living with my brother's family…so we didn't have much of anything for a house of our own.

As much as I knew Logan and I were supposed to be together, I had always felt a slight tugging towards the religious life (you know, being a nun). That was part of the reason we broke up for awhile during our college years. (I always thought God would call me to be a nun but it never happened.) And what surprised me is how the whole vocation thing came up again during our engagement. I loved Logan and wanted to marry him more than anything….but I couldn't help thinking about the religious life too. What the heck was wrong with me?!

I talked to a priest about it, though, and he reassured me that it was normal to have those thoughts as you got close to making vows - he went through the same thing right before being ordained a transitional deacon. Of course, I didn't know anyone else who had experienced the same thing other than this priest. But I guess God knows to put the right people in your life at the right time!
Our rehearsal dinner! We honestly had the best rehearsal dinner ever. It was a smaller version of a reception, basically, but just with our family and closest friends.

Engagement was hard, but in retrospect I realize it was good preparation for marriage itself. Especially because we were hit with the most tragic experience for us thus far just 6 months into our marriage. But if you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you already know that story!

And to think we're about to celebrate our 5-year anniversary! So crazy. But we are blessed. :)


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