"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Keeping it real - marriage is hard

I totally wrote this several months ago when I was pregnant with Chase and never posted it because I always write things and get nervous about what people might think. But then I posted this and a couple of close friends encouraged me to write more! So here you go, an old post with a couple edits…clearing out my drafts folder. ;)

Most of you probably know that Logan and I started dating in high school. We certainly had our ups and downs in our dating relationship, but ultimately, we knew we were supposed to be together forever. I'm sorry if you don't like the term "soul-mates" but seriously, that's Logan and me. So many times we're thinking the same thing, and when one of us decides to speak aloud, the other one just laughs and says, "I was totally just thinking that." It doesn't matter how random of a topic it is...our brains are on the same wavelength. A lot.

That being said, our marriage is far from perfect. We argue and get under each other's skin, and sometimes we just really don't like each other. Honestly (and Logan reads these kind of posts before I publish them, so don't worry!), there have been times where I wondered why the heck I got married in the first place. While Logan and I share the same Catholic faith and many interests (sports!), we are complete opposites when it comes to personality.

He loves a good party and I love staying home doing nothing. (Although we do love hosting parties.)

He tends to procrastinate while I tend to get things out of the way as soon as possible.

He is an optimist while I am a realist (totally different from a pessimist, by the way...).

I could go on and on, but the point I'm making is that we're different. And that has caused a lot of tension in our marriage - especially because we're both pretty stubborn and like to be right. ;)

Although we've only been married 5 1/2 years, we've learned quite a bit. Of course we're still FAR from perfect, but at least we're learning. One thing that I remind myself of and that has been made quite obvious lately - both in our marriage and in many of our friends' - is that the devil wants marriages to fall apart. He wants husbands and wives to fight, to give up, and to run away from the second most important relationship in their lives (the most important relationship being one with God).

Logan and I have many married friends, and it is so surprising and upsetting to know how many of them are having marital problems right now. Seriously. I know every marriage goes through difficult times, but I can't believe how many Christian marriages have ended or gotten close to it. Marriages that we fully supported because we knew the couples were devoted to God and to each other.

Seeing our friends go through all of that has made Logan and I even more determined to never get to that point. The point where we stop fighting for our marriage. And what we've realized is that marriage takes work. The times where our marriage is the strongest is when we're doing extra little things for each other - Logan leaving encouraging notes on the table for me to find once he leaves for work, random sweet text messages throughout the day, me rubbing Logan's back in the middle of the night if we both happen to toss and turn at the same time. Occasional date nights, of course, too…even if it's just playing Mario Kart or Just Dance on your Nintendo Wii. ;)

And the most important thing? Praying together. This one is tough because it can feel so repetitive. We pray every night together before bed (when Logan isn't working), which is totally important, but we've learned that changing it up a bit really helps - like reading that day's Gospel together and praying and talking about what is revealed to us through it.

It's so easy to let other things get in the way of marriage - kids, work, LIFE - but I know that a good relationship with Logan needs to be a priority. For our sakes (and souls, gotta get each other to Heaven) and the sakes of our kids.
"As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the world in which we live." – St. Pope John Paul II

6 comments:

  1. There's quite a few episodes.. but these talks on marriage are worth every minute.

    http://www.discerninghearts.com/?page_id=7558

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  2. Thanks for sharing! I am glad you did, its such a good reminder to keep fighting and making good habits even when things seem to be going good because that praying together will be so necessary when the rest of life tries to get in the way!!

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  3. Yes, totally! Marriage is hard enough as it is...we need prayer too!

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  4. Ooh, these look good! Thanks so much for sharing :)

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