"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Monday, December 1, 2014

Why it's not a good idea to compare crosses

We've all heard it before - "I know how you feel." "Been there, done that!" Or even worse, someone goes on a rant on all the terrible things they've had to deal with in life, as if they have it worse than you.

I hate when people do that. I'm not saying I'm innocent (far from it!), but the last few years I've made a conscious effort to avoid saying those words to anybody. Because really, all that usually does is make the person feel like what they're going through isn't a big deal, when it is a big deal to them.

Everyone has their crosses. Everyone! That has become really obvious to me lately. Just because someone seems to have it all together - happy all the time with their cute little family in their cute little house and maybe even a cute little dog - doesn't mean they aren't struggling with anything. I've had friends go through some pretty rough times, and I never would have known had they not told me. Some crosses are more obvious than others, but sometimes the hardest ones are the crosses that can't be seen.

I get really uneasy when we start "comparing" crosses, even though I've wondered time and time again why it seems like some people have it worse than others. What I've realized, though, is that not everyone deals with one thing in the exact same way - and that's precisely why we all have different crosses. God gives us whatever He thinks will help us grow the most.

And then there's this little big thing called grace. Sometimes we get an abundance of grace when life seems the toughest - which would explain why that mom with 10 kids who was diagnosed with cancer seems to be handling it more gracefully than you can handle your tantrum-throwing toddler.

No matter how much bigger one person's cross might seem, we all struggle with something that we wish we didn't have to deal with - but God allows that to help us grow closer to Him.

"I am not a theologian or a scholar, but I am very aware of the fact that pain is necessary to all of us. In my own life, I think I can honestly say that out of the deepest pain has come the strongest conviction of the presence of God and the love of God." – Elisabeth Elliot


  1. This is faaaabulous. There's the writer inside aching to come out! :)

  2. :) I'm glad you liked it because it's usually posts like these that I never get the nerve to click "publish"!


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