"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

5 things that have been making our marriage better

Everyone has things they do to keep the little flame alive in their marriage, and while this is certainly not an exhaustive list, these 5 things have played a big part in life being oh so good lately! I'm not an expert. Just sharing what works for us! :)


Focus on each other's love languages.
Logan and I are complete opposites when it comes to love languages so this is still a work in progress - for me, anyways. (Logan's love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation, and mine are acts of service and quality time) Personally, I struggle with this because I am NOT a very affectionate person (other than kissing my kids a million times a day), nor do I throw out compliments very often, but lately it's been very obvious to me how Logan responds positively when I randomly hug him or play with his hair…or tell him he's looks gooooood. And of course I just LOVE when Logan washes the dishes for me. Seriously, it's the best. I hate dishes.

Do something new!
For us, this was playing Monopoly a couple weeks ago. It definitely was a good change from sitting in front of the TV! It's so easy to get in a rut in marriage, just doing the same ol' thing…so change things up sometimes. Like maybe go play mini golf for a date instead of eating out like you normally do!
On our honeymoon, blissfully unaware of what was to come in the next few years ;)

Pray, both together and individually.
We pray together at night when Logan isn't at work, but I'm really realizing how important it is that we also pray individually (and holding each other accountable!).
Example: I've been praying the rosary a lot the last few months, and this month I noticed that Logan was suddenly being much more helpful around the house and wasn't arguing with me as much. He said he was "turning over a new leaf" and it wasn't until a few days later, when I told him I noticed he was different, that he told me that maybe it was because he started praying the rosary again on his way to work (he did that as his Lenten penance last year and then kind of got away from it). So even though we usually don't pray the rosary together, I realized that as long as we're both praying, things are good. (I'm referring to our relationship...not life in general. Because praying doesn't make everything perfect!) The rosary is awesome, by the way.

Do things without being asked and without complaining.
This is so simple, really…but took me awhile to realize that I could just take out the garbage myself instead of having to ask Logan a million times. Because it's more aggravating for me to ask Logan over and over when I could just do it myself and be done with it. And once I started doing that, Logan noticed and started being better about it!
On the flip side, when Logan just takes the boys in the morning to change their diapers without me having to ask, while I'm getting breakfast (and my coffee!!!) ready, our mornings go much smoother. Teamwork, baby.

Renew our wedding vows often (ahem).
This is referring to the physical act, of course (although renewing them verbally is a good thing, too!). Yes, sometimes we're just both so dang tired, and Logan's work schedule along with us learning Creighton often interferes with it…but if we go too long without being intimate then things get rough. Logan gets moody and I start not caring about the fact that we're not doing it. Which is not good. So get to it! (I know this isn't possible for some people at certain times in life for one reason or another…we have to abstain when I'm pregnant, thanks to my incompetent cervix. So, so hard.)

Go check out more 5Faves at Rachel's blog, who's hosting for Jenna this week! And if you're bored, and not tired of hearing about Logan and me, you can read this post I wrote about marriage a few months ago.

14 comments:

  1. Great post! I totally agree with learning his love language. It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that my husband's was SO different from mine. (We are same as you guys: he's physical touch/affirmation, I'm acts of service/quality time) Once that clicked, our marriage has been MUCH easier.

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  2. I love these!! Thanks for the reminder to keep marriage at the front of my life.

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  3. Thank you! Oh, I love hearing that another couple is similar to us in love languages! Maybe the whole opposite thing makes it that much harder to "click"…but once it does, things are definitely so much easier.

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  4. I know, I wish it happened more often!

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  5. These are great! Definitely good things to keep the flame alive! ;)

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  6. I think a good one is remembering you're both on the same side. Sometimes I forget. Oops!

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  7. Oh my goodness, that is so true, Cristina! Love that. I forget too...

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  8. Laura Hanby HudgensMay 2, 2015 at 11:16 PM

    Hi.Coming to you from CWBN . Great post. I needed the reminder to remember my husbands love language - and to remind him of mine!

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  9. I need frequent reminders! Haha. Thanks for stopping by :)

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  10. I pinned your post!! :) Also, dish-washing is for the birds! Alex does that chore in our house (and a whole lot of others...my gosh husbands are THE BEST)!

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  11. Yay, thanks!! Wow, that's an awesome arrangement…not sure I could get Logan on board with that one. Hahaha. But yes, husbands can be soooo helpful! :)

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  12. Okay maybe I should clarify. We do the dishes together...sort of. He does the grimy part that I don't like (rinsing, scrubbing, ICKYness)...I load the dishwasher. We also usually tag team unloading the dishwasher. I am super grateful for his willingness to work with me on it either way!
    Lauren
    Here We Geaux


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