"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Saturday, July 4, 2015

The post in which I contemplate the meaning of life

...or something like that.

I wish I could adequately explain just what has been going on in my head and my heart the last couple of weeks. I'll probably sound crazy. But let me try!

So many different things lately - major toddler tantrum in Target, Logan's computer dying, our attempts to buy a [wanted but not needed] minivan to replace my vehicle, things going on in our country and our world, a book I'm reading, a catechist class I just took - have stirred up my heart and I've just really questioned and prayed about why Logan and I are doing the things we do and why we have the things we have. If that makes sense. It probably doesn't...

It's so easy to want more things, more money, more security and just more out of life. But the past few years has showed us that we have gotten by just fine. And as soon as you get that one thing you REALLY want, you just find something else you really want. So I want to be content here and now, with everything I have - with the mindset that I might not get anything else in life.

To some people it might seem like we don't have much, but I think we have so, so, SO MUCH.

Some people think the end of the world is coming. Sounds crazy, and it's probably not true...but it also could be. And regardless of when the world is ending, we should be ready at any moment. So that's just got me thinking - what do I want out of life?

I don't want more stuff. Sure, it'd be nice if we had a few extra hundred dollars every month to do fun things, but I'm fairly certain that if it happened, we'd probably just end up wanting even more money the next month. Because usually the more money you make, the more money you spend. And after getting rid of ALL THE THINGS this past week (seriously...all.the.things.), I'm realizing that a simpler life is a better life.

I don't want to spend my life on the internet. Yes, I learn new things, and I meet new friends, and the internet certainly isn't bad...but I have the best family and the best friends right in front of me. I want to spend more time with them.

I want to waste less time at home and spend more time doing new things. Unless I'm having fun with Logan and the boys at home. That's totally okay, and I actually really love just doing ordinary things at home but having an extraordinary time doing them.

I want to get to Heaven one day, and I want all of my loved ones with me. So everything I do in life - everything!! - I want to keep that ultimate goal in mind. If it's not bringing us closer to Jesus, we can do without it. If we lose sight of what's really important, I want Logan and I to hold each other accountable. We're in this together, for better or for worse, and I'm so thankful God picked him to be my better half.

Of course, life isn't perfect, nor will it ever be...but that's okay. I'm learning to see the positive in every situation, no matter how ridiculous it may be, no matter how much I think God surely must not know what He's doing. Because seriously, He always knows best. And He's proven it over and over again.

And these two right here...

I don't want to waste these precious years where they are soaking up everything like sponges. Yes, some days are full of poop (literally and figuratively), but they - along with Logan - are hopefully getting me to Heaven. Sometimes it seems like marriage and motherhood break me into a million pieces, but I'd like to think that they also build me back up, into a better woman.

So! I don't know where I'm going with this, other than to explain why the blog has been a little quiet lately and maybe to hopefully motivate you to do some thinking about what's really important in life. For me, it's...

1. God
2. Logan
3. Landon and Chase (and Levi! can't forget my baby that I want to see again one day)
4. everything else

But of course I have some important people and things in the last category, because I very much feel called to serve the church and to volunteer and to try to be a good friend, daughter, and sister.

I've been getting rid of stuff in every area of life - decluttering our house more than we've ever done before, unsubscribing from lots of emails, unfollowing some blogs, and really contemplating where I spend my time and how we spend our money. Basically, I'm paring down everything so I can see more clearly. And it's been a crazy experience. But man, the outlook is GOOD.
I guess that's enough deep thoughts for now. And don't worry, I'm not giving up on ye olde blog just yet! :)


  1. Props to you for keeping up with these details all.day.long!

  2. You're tempting to participate in the next round of AMT...

  3. I went to check it out but I don't like this week's questions!

    Here We Geaux

    Subject: Re: Comment on Into Your Will: Answer Me This! + a few pictures


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