"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

What I'm thankful for (5Faves)

Since the past few weeks have been a little crazy, I was totally thinking about writing a 5Faves post on what I'm thankful for this week. Because, well, Thanksgiving. And then Ashley put it as one of her idea prompts, so it must be meant to be! I'll try not to be too sappy, but...no promises.

1. New baby
 First things first! I had an ultrasound this week and am so thankful to report that things are looking good. Baby is due right around Chase's 2nd birthday...which means (God willing) they'll be less than 2 years apart since I always go early. So crazy to think about, since that's a smaller gap than Landon and Chase. But we're excited!
It's not the best picture because Dr. H had to use their dinosaur machine (ultrasound tech was backed up), so we go back in a couple weeks for the official ultrasound. But we saw one baby with a heartbeat!

2. Best hubby ever
Logan has been so great lately. Seriously. First the ultimate surprise and now he's been taking over the dishes because my gag reflex is not my best friend right now. Thanks, babe! You're the best.

3. Big 3-year old
I am so thankful that Landon is super helpful these days. And he lets me takes naps and even joins me sometimes. It's like he knows I'm not feeling well, because he randomly tells me he loves me. So sweet. He also totally gets the baby-in-my-belly thing (which surprises me) so I know he will be really helpful with a newborn.

4. Goofy 1-year old
Gosh, this boy just brings so much joy to everybody. Even though I feel like crap just like the last 3 pregnancies, it's somewhat easier this time because Chase is a pretty easy baby. So, so thankful. And I'm thankful he takes long naps so I can too!

5. A break
Life is slowing down just in time for Advent, and I'm thrilled. I'm so happy to get back to spending more time with my boys, reading them lots of books and catching up on my own book list. I'm hoping I can really focus on Advent this year too. Being pregnant always seems to help with that (because I have seriously been pregnant during Advent every single time). 
Here's a picture that did not make it onto our Christmas cards this year...and yes, that is drool (or snot?) on my shoulder. #keepingitreal

Go check out more faves at Ashley's!

Saturday, November 21, 2015

Vulnerability, lies, and hopefully less craziness

There is no other time quite like the first trimester of pregnancy. So many emotions, so many physical ills, and so many opportunities to trust in God's plan. Especially in the first few weeks before you've even seen a heartbeat on a ultrasound. You hope and pray that your baby is okay but still have to trust that God will take care of you...even if your baby isn't okay.

And boy, there aren't many other times where you're this vulnerable to thoughts from the devil.
You've had 2 successful pregnancies back-to-back. You're bound to lose another baby eventually. 
You feel like crap, don't you? Why do you even bother getting pregnant again? It's not worth it.  
How are you supposed to take care of your family right now? Why did you think it was a good idea to go through this again? 
Why do you tell everyone you're pregnant already? People think you're crazy.
What are you going to do if you lose the baby? 
Not to mention all of the ridiculousness that has happened in the past 3 weeks. I've really wondered if we were just nuts to get pregnant in the midst of it. (Well, it's not like we were trying to get pregnant, but we did know it was a possibility.)

I know the devil wants Logan and me to live in fear, to doubt ourselves, and to think we're doing the wrong thing. And I know that's probably going to be even more true is we do lose this baby.

But you know what? I also know that I'm exactly where I need to be right now. It might sound crazy, but even when craziness was happening (especially this past week), God was also reassuring me that He was in charge. Even when I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. Even when I was tempted to listen to the lies of the devil.

I'm so thankful for that. And I'm so thankful for those of you who've been praying for us. We can feel it.

P.S. I didn't actually get an ultrasound done this week (long, ridiculous, aggravating story), but I hope to have one next week. Prayers for discernment are also appreciated, as we're realizing that switching doctors might not be the best decision for our family right now.

P.P.S. The auction is over! And it went well! Lots of money was raised to save babies. Hopefully life will get back to normal soon.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Sometimes surprises are just what I need

Well, I could go on and on again about how life is still crazy and now I'm trying not to puke all day in the midst of it and that I've been napping 2-3 hours almost every day (seriously) because I'm so tired and overwhelmed and that after this weekend life will (hopefully!!) be less crazy.

But I think it'd be more fun to tell you about what happened on Friday. I should be doing auction stuff right now but it's kind of been taking over my life lately and obviously blogging is more fun. And if I don't blog now it probably won't happen this week. So here we go!

Random pic of what I've been doing a lot of lately when not doing auction stuff
Logan told me awhile ago that he wanted to take me out on a date the week before the big silent auction, since he knew I'd be stressed and would need a night out. Which was so, so true. So our friend Lindsey (Chase's godmother) came over to watch the boys and we headed out to dinner.

On the way there, Logan said he was proud of all the work I was doing and wanted to give me kind of an early Christmas gift and handed me Matthew West's new CD. And for those of you who don't know, Matthew West is one of my fave Christian artists and this here blog is actually named after some of his lyrics. So I was really touched!

And then I opened the CD and found 2 concerts tickets. To Matthew West. That night.

I should say that Matthew West has never come to southeast Louisiana (to my knowledge) so I have never seen him in concert even though I've always wanted to! So when I realized that we were actually going to Matthew West's concert instead of dinner, I couldn't believe it. How in the world did Logan pull this off without me realizing? (Because honestly, he is a terrible liar and I usually know when he's up to something, but I guess I've been too preoccupied!)

And then my second thought (because...pregnant) was What are we going to eat then? But before I could even say the thought aloud, Logan pulls a bag of takeout sushi out from behind my seat.

I totally cried, y'all. Like lots of tears. And I'm TOTALLY not a crier and have probably only cried one other time that Logan did something super romantic like this. (Seriously, I didn't even cry when he proposed or at our wedding! I have a problem.) Logan regrets not having the whole thing on video. I'd like to blame the hormones but it was probably a combination of that, stress, and being so thankful I married a romantic. He's the best!

Funny tidbit: Logan had to spray a crapload of Febreeze in the car so I wouldn't smell the sushi. He really did think of everything, y'all.

So the concert was amazing and Matthew West was just hilarious, and I highly recommend you see him if he comes to a city near you. It was just the thing I needed since these past couple of weeks have been nuts and I really haven't been able to rest/relax as much as I wanted and needed to (except those naps. They're the only reason I'm surviving!).

On a side note, my first ultrasound is this week so please say a prayer because I would hate to get not-so-good news before my fundraiser event. I have been feeling like crap - which is a good sign, perhaps - but I'm also on progesterone this time around and am not sure if it's that or the baby that's making me feel bad. So, there's that. Hope y'all are having a less crazy week than me! ;)

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Why we share our baby news early

I know there are about a million posts out there about why you should or shouldn't share your pregnancy news right away. Let me just say that I'm not saying I think everyone should share right away. I truly believe everyone does what they think is best for their family. But in case some of you were thinking we were crazy for telling everybody the day we found out, I wanted to share exactly why we decided to do so. (I should say we haven't put it on Facebook, because I have conflicting thoughts about that...but that's another post that will never get written. But we have told all of our friends and family!)

I don't want to live in fear.
Let's face it, every woman worries about losing her baby - whether she's had a miscarriage before or not. Many women can't imagine sharing their news, losing the baby, and then telling everybody what happened. I know...it's not fun. It's the worst, actually. But I'd rather enjoy a few days/weeks/months of joy (as much as possible) instead of living in fear of what might happen.

I want people to know my baby lived.
Maybe this baby won't make it to term. Heck, maybe this baby doesn't have a heartbeat as we speak and I won't find out until my first ultrasound in a few days. But even if any of that does happen, it doesn't erase the fact that I had a baby - I have a baby - and will always consider this baby part of our family.

I can lose the baby at any time.
Sorry to be super blunt (you know me), and I don't want to sound depressing, but...not every pregnancy loss happens in the first trimester. After losing a baby at 22 weeks, I know how it is to have everyone know I was pregnant (with a big belly! and knowing it was a boy!) and then suddenly not be pregnant anymore. It's so hard. But somehow we survived. And I'm so glad people know we have a son in Heaven, because...

People will say insensitive things, no matter what.
If I have an early miscarriage, people might say "Well, you shouldn't have told everyone so early!" or "At least you didn't get too attached" or "At least you already have your 2 boys!". If I have another second trimester loss, people might say "Well, you knew this might happen again". Or if I lose the baby before we tell anybody, people might ask when we're having another baby - not even realizing we already had one.

Heck, even if I carry this baby to term, I'll probably get a whole slew of inappropriate comments like "You know what causes that, right?" Unfortunately, you can't make everybody happy. So I'm going to do whatever brings my family joy (instead of worrying about everyone else), and that's sharing our news right away.

We need all the prayer we can get.
If you've read this blog during Landon's or Chase's pregnancies, you'll know that pregnancy life isn't easy over here (I know it's not easy for most people!). I'm fairly certain we have survived the last 2 pregnancies because of 1) grace and 2) the faithful prayers of all our family, friends, and blog readers. And I know I would tell a difference in these early weeks if we didn't have all of those extra prayers!

We can't keep our mouths shut.
It might sound silly, but seriously...it's too hard to not tell people. I was going to see my parents in person TWO DAYS after I found out, but I knew there was no way I could keep it to myself until then. So I called them that same day. Logan and I were too dang excited!

Granted, I have not yet experienced an early pregnancy loss, and perhaps my opinions will change if that ever happens. Things also might change if we continue having baby after baby (since you know people love to make comments about big families). But for now, we will share our news as soon as we know. But I support you if you don't feel the same way. :)

Monday, November 9, 2015

Some good things and what the devil hates

Sorry if my last post left you hanging...(it was not my intention, my bad)

Last year I was in charge of a big silent auction for an awesome non-profit organization in the New Orleans area. They literally save babies and positively change the lives of women and their families. Really. I support their ministry so much that I'm helping run the auction AGAIN this year (okay, really it's because I felt called to it...God likes to stretch us sometimes). You can check out their website here if you're interested.

You know what the devil hates? When we help fight against abortion. When we play a part in giving all women hope, no matter what her situation is in life.

Even when it's just a small part, like helping with an annual fundraiser. Because seriously, so many ridiculous things have happened lately, and it gets worse the closer we get to the event. So crazy. I feel like we can't catch a break. The devil is working hard, for sure. 

And then there's the whole new pregnancy thing for our little family. We always seems to deal with spiritual warfare during pregnancy (well, at least we did with Chase), and I guess it's because the devil hates when people are open to life. Especially when it'd be so easy to call it quits and when apparently everyone else thinks we're slightly nuts for not stopping at just 2 kids. (Seriously, those of you with 4+ kids, I don't know how you handle the comments! We've gotten plenty already!)

So those are the 2 big reasons why the devil is all up in our business lately. Continued prayers are appreciated because sometimes it feels like I'm being held underwater. (I know that sounds exaggerated but it's the truth!) Sigh.

 But how about some good things that have been happening in the past week?? I like good things.
The guy who swore in 2013 that he would never drive a van.
  • We bought a (new-to-us) van! Yay! Because last week was so crazy, it actually sat in my garage for 4 days before I got a chance to get a good look at it and even drive it. (I had given the checkbook to Logan and told him he had to do it himself because my brain could not handle anything else.) But Logan did great and it's awesome and I'm totally digging the minivan life after just 3 days.
Isn't she adorable?
  • I unexpectedly got to visit my grandma (Dad's mom). Of course it's because she was in the hospital not doing well, but I'm glad we (my brother and SIL too) made the crazy last-minute 6-hour trip. My grandma seems to be doing better for the time being, and I hope I'll be able to see her again. (Just depends on pregnancy stuff because I usually don't travel far when I'm pregnant.)
I know I look like the odd one out...but that's actually my twin sister on the left.
  • I helped throw one of my BFFs (we go way back to the 6th grade) a baby shower for her much-prayed for baby boy. I cannot wait to meet him!
  • My sister and her family came down for the baby shower so we also got to visit with them! 
And now I'm just pushing through these next 2 weeks and praying life slows down then. Thank you for all of the prayers! I'm praying for all of you reading this. :)

Friday, November 6, 2015

Still here, don't worry

I know if I go too long without posting, people worry, so I'm going to just throw up this quick post, mmkay?

First, let me just say that I'm still pregnant. Saw my new doctor on Monday and will have an ultrasound in less than 2 weeks. Just have to say that so people don't automatically assume I lost the baby!


Y'all. This week has been a perfect storm of big changes, unexpected things, as well as the most ridiculous things happening. All in like 5 days. I was already pretty busy with obligations that will come to fruition (and completion!) in the next 2 weeks....then craziness happened. And I was going to explain in the form of quick takes, but my little overwhelmed brain can't even pull that together for you. Plus, I don't want to come off as whiny/complaining/whatever.

Let's just say that our little family is likely under spiritual attack, due to a number of things. So we would greatly appreciate extra prayers. Let me know how I can pray for you too!

"Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." – James 1:2-3


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