"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Saturday, November 21, 2015

Vulnerability, lies, and hopefully less craziness

There is no other time quite like the first trimester of pregnancy. So many emotions, so many physical ills, and so many opportunities to trust in God's plan. Especially in the first few weeks before you've even seen a heartbeat on a ultrasound. You hope and pray that your baby is okay but still have to trust that God will take care of you...even if your baby isn't okay.

And boy, there aren't many other times where you're this vulnerable to thoughts from the devil.
You've had 2 successful pregnancies back-to-back. You're bound to lose another baby eventually. 
You feel like crap, don't you? Why do you even bother getting pregnant again? It's not worth it.  
How are you supposed to take care of your family right now? Why did you think it was a good idea to go through this again? 
Why do you tell everyone you're pregnant already? People think you're crazy.
What are you going to do if you lose the baby? 
Not to mention all of the ridiculousness that has happened in the past 3 weeks. I've really wondered if we were just nuts to get pregnant in the midst of it. (Well, it's not like we were trying to get pregnant, but we did know it was a possibility.)

I know the devil wants Logan and me to live in fear, to doubt ourselves, and to think we're doing the wrong thing. And I know that's probably going to be even more true is we do lose this baby.

But you know what? I also know that I'm exactly where I need to be right now. It might sound crazy, but even when craziness was happening (especially this past week), God was also reassuring me that He was in charge. Even when I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. Even when I was tempted to listen to the lies of the devil.

I'm so thankful for that. And I'm so thankful for those of you who've been praying for us. We can feel it.

P.S. I didn't actually get an ultrasound done this week (long, ridiculous, aggravating story), but I hope to have one next week. Prayers for discernment are also appreciated, as we're realizing that switching doctors might not be the best decision for our family right now.

P.P.S. The auction is over! And it went well! Lots of money was raised to save babies. Hopefully life will get back to normal soon.


No comments:

Post a Comment

Leave us some love!

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...