"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Why we share our baby news early

I know there are about a million posts out there about why you should or shouldn't share your pregnancy news right away. Let me just say that I'm not saying I think everyone should share right away. I truly believe everyone does what they think is best for their family. But in case some of you were thinking we were crazy for telling everybody the day we found out, I wanted to share exactly why we decided to do so. (I should say we haven't put it on Facebook, because I have conflicting thoughts about that...but that's another post that will never get written. But we have told all of our friends and family!)

I don't want to live in fear.
Let's face it, every woman worries about losing her baby - whether she's had a miscarriage before or not. Many women can't imagine sharing their news, losing the baby, and then telling everybody what happened. I know...it's not fun. It's the worst, actually. But I'd rather enjoy a few days/weeks/months of joy (as much as possible) instead of living in fear of what might happen.

I want people to know my baby lived.
Maybe this baby won't make it to term. Heck, maybe this baby doesn't have a heartbeat as we speak and I won't find out until my first ultrasound in a few days. But even if any of that does happen, it doesn't erase the fact that I had a baby - I have a baby - and will always consider this baby part of our family.

I can lose the baby at any time.
Sorry to be super blunt (you know me), and I don't want to sound depressing, but...not every pregnancy loss happens in the first trimester. After losing a baby at 22 weeks, I know how it is to have everyone know I was pregnant (with a big belly! and knowing it was a boy!) and then suddenly not be pregnant anymore. It's so hard. But somehow we survived. And I'm so glad people know we have a son in Heaven, because...

People will say insensitive things, no matter what.
If I have an early miscarriage, people might say "Well, you shouldn't have told everyone so early!" or "At least you didn't get too attached" or "At least you already have your 2 boys!". If I have another second trimester loss, people might say "Well, you knew this might happen again". Or if I lose the baby before we tell anybody, people might ask when we're having another baby - not even realizing we already had one.

Heck, even if I carry this baby to term, I'll probably get a whole slew of inappropriate comments like "You know what causes that, right?" Unfortunately, you can't make everybody happy. So I'm going to do whatever brings my family joy (instead of worrying about everyone else), and that's sharing our news right away.

We need all the prayer we can get.
If you've read this blog during Landon's or Chase's pregnancies, you'll know that pregnancy life isn't easy over here (I know it's not easy for most people!). I'm fairly certain we have survived the last 2 pregnancies because of 1) grace and 2) the faithful prayers of all our family, friends, and blog readers. And I know I would tell a difference in these early weeks if we didn't have all of those extra prayers!

We can't keep our mouths shut.
It might sound silly, but seriously...it's too hard to not tell people. I was going to see my parents in person TWO DAYS after I found out, but I knew there was no way I could keep it to myself until then. So I called them that same day. Logan and I were too dang excited!

Granted, I have not yet experienced an early pregnancy loss, and perhaps my opinions will change if that ever happens. Things also might change if we continue having baby after baby (since you know people love to make comments about big families). But for now, we will share our news as soon as we know. But I support you if you don't feel the same way. :)

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