"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Monday, August 15, 2016

Why I (still) blog

I remember reading a year or two ago about how blogs were dying or something. And I was all, whatev, I'm gonna keep blogging anyway.

If you've been here from the beginning, you know that I started blogging in January 2010, just a few weeks after we lost Levi. I just felt a little tug on my heart to keep family and friends updated as we tried to learn what happened. And then I shared all my feelings (even the ugly ones) through the trying-to-conceive process.

Can I just be real and say I honestly thought at first that we'd get pregnant again right away? So when that didn't happen, and then we eventually ended up fostering for a few months, as well as other ridiculous things, I felt like God wanted me to write through the craziness. (I have been tempted on so many occasions to delete a million old posts buuuuut I have to admit some of it's pretty hilarious. And sometimes in a ohmygosh-I-can't-believe-I-wrote-that kind of way.)

Now here we are, 3 babies later. Life has changed, my blogging has changed, and I've been tempted a time or two to hang it up, but I just can't quit.

I love going back and seeing what we've been through and where we are now. 
I love how some posts I write are just the thing I need to read months (and sometimes years) later. 
I love how I just never know who might be reading what I write (although honestly, that's kind of weird to think about too)...but maybe I'll find out one day. 
I love getting a random comment, email, or message about how a certain post really resonated with someone. 
I love making online friends and really, really hope to meet them in real life someday!
I love how documenting the last 6.5 years here has helped me truly embrace God's will, in all circumstances.

My blog doesn't have a big following and I'm totally okay with that. I don't make a single cent, either - and I'm totally okay with that too. Some people might think it's weird to put so much out there...and well, yeah, it kind of is. But I'm okay with that too.

I still blog because I love to write!  
I still blog because I feel called to share my [sometimes crazy] thoughts and give a glimpse into our family life.
I still blog because there's nothing as cathartic as tapping out whatever is on my mind.   
I still blog because it's so easy to feel like you're alone when dealing with pregnancy loss, infertility, high-risk pregnancies, or a million other things...but maybe reading my tiny blog (or someone else's) will help at least one person feel a little less alone.

To my fellow bloggers, keep doing what you do! You can make such a difference in the lives of women (and men? you never know) everywhere. Even when it doesn't feel like it.

To my few readers, new and old, thanks for reading along. You're why I'm still here!

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