"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Just do something {gifts for those experiencing pregnancy loss}

There was one aspect of experiencing pregnancy loss that really surprised me – most people just really don't know what to do or what to tell you. Some people say inappropriate things, whether intentionally or not, and other people avoid you altogether. So that makes me think that sometimes the best thing to do is to show the grieving person/couple that you care for them if you're not sure of what to say. (I just have to say that I had NO CLUE what to do or say either before Levi and even struggled with it until recently when I had the epiphany to just do something.) 

This past year I had several friends miscarry. While I was tempted to just leave them alone (because there are so many facets to pregnancy loss), I felt prompted to do small things. It doesn't take much to let people know you are thinking about them or praying for them.

And if you don't know what to do, let me just encourage you: just do something! Sending a card or flowers or a meal is perfect (don't underestimate the importance of food!!), but in case you want some other ideas, I've compiled a list. I hope it's helpful!

One more thing before I get to gift ideas: if you think you've already missed the time frame to send something, you haven't! I think it's a sweet gesture to send a thoughtful gift on your loved one's due date or the one-year anniversary of the loss. I can guarantee they will still be thinking about their precious baby. It's never too late to show someone you're thinking of them!


Books


  • After Miscarriage: A Catholic Woman's Companion to Healing and Hope by Karen Edmisten
  • Empty Arms: Hope and Support for Those Who Have Suffered a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Tubal Pregnancy by Pam Vredevelt


  • Life-Giving Love: Embracing God's Beautiful Design for Marriage by Kimberly Hahn
  • I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy by Angie Smith


Something with the baby's name





Something with the baby's birthstone


  • A rosary - Logan gave me a rosary several years ago made with Levi's birthstone that also has the date of his death/birth on the back of the crucifix. It's one of my favorite gifts to this day!

  • A necklace – these are a couple I made myself (super easy, I promise, just browse your nearest craft store for the materials) but there are a million options on Etsy. If the baby was named you could include the initial or full name.


A print with a quote or verse related to pregnancy loss





Miscellaneous


  • A box they can put all of their mementos in to remember their baby (i.e. ultrasound pictures, cards from others) – I think the photo boxes from craft stores are perfect for this and actually have one for all 4 of my boys. They retail for $3.99 but are often on sale for much less.
  • A journal to write down their thoughts and prayers through the grieving process
  • Donate to an organization in memory of their loved one – most places will send the recipient a card informing them of the donation. Our favorite organization is Woman's New Life Center in the New Orleans area – they support women dealing with unplanned pregnancies and just really have a beautiful ministry.

Of course this is not an exhaustive list by any means...just a few ideas to get you thinking. For those of you who have experienced pregnancy loss, I would love to hear from you - what was the most thoughtful gift you received? Or what would you have liked from a loved one? Please share in the comments!

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