"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Come at me, life {day 17}

Sometimes life makes it nearly impossible to focus on your marriage. Jobs, children, other responsibilities - there are a million and one reasons I can think of that prevent me from making my husband a priority.

But I also know that when I do make the extra effort to keep Logan a top priority, those are the times that I feel like I could conquer anything. Everything in our house could be breaking, our children could be losing their ever-loving minds, and our checking account could be, well, pitiful. If Logan and I are thriving as a married couple though? All of that other stuff feels so trivial.

When Logan and I are struggling, though, life feels so differently. We could actually be doing well financially, our kids are being cooperative, and in general, life is just pretty good. But I have a hard time noticing all of those good things when my marriage is in a rut.

Can you relate? I hope so.

One of my good friends seems to be one of those people that when it rains, it pours. If something crazy is going to happen, it’s going to happen to her. But she always seems to handle it so well, and I think a big part of that is because her marriage is solid. It’s inspiring, really.

I have to admit, Logan and I are in a sweet spot right now (which is probably a big reason why I have the guts - and have been given the grace - to write about marriage this month). We’ve been working together really well lately and are really enjoying each other’s company. It’s definitely not always the case, but I can appreciate these good times that much more because we’ve totally had our share of disillusionment in marriage.

I also know that we’re in a good groove right now because we’re both putting forth more effort into our relationship than usual - despite life trying to get us to do otherwise. Life is certainly not perfect, by any means. So that means it has taken some creativity to keep our marriage a priority, especially with Logan’s unusual work schedule, our baby who doesn’t like to sleep, our limited budget, and my ridiculous Creighton chart (keeping it real, you guys). But like I keep saying - it’s totally worth the effort.

Lately, when Logan is not at work in the evening and as soon as our family finishes up dinner (and its subsequent dance party in the kitchen, holler), one of us tackles the dishes and kitchen clean-up while the other helps the kids bathe and/or get ready for bed. Usually Logan handles the kids while I do the dishes, but sometimes he prefers the dishes so we switch up. Whatever we need to do to make it happen!

By the time we both finish our respective duties, we have a couple hours to hang out, just the two of us. Of course, sometimes (okay, a lot of times lately), a certain one-year old is still awake, but even then we’re still able to have quality adult conversation.

It’s hard to figure out how exactly to work together in any given situation (and decide who prefers which responsibilities), but once we do, it proves that working together in all aspects of life is the best thing for both our marriage and our family.

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