"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

First Comes Marriage {day 31}

You know that song we used to sing all the time as kids? “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in the baby carriage.” Or something like that. Well, let me just change it up a bit…

First comes God, then comes marriage, then comes…everything (and everybody) else.

It’s so easy to let other people intrude into a marriage, when really, the only people that should have any say so in a marriage is the husband, wife, and God. That’s it. Sure, there’s nothing wrong with seeking advice from a trusted friend or a wise professional (I actually totally recommend counseling or meeting with a priest, and know many couples who have done so!). And it’s probably okay if a well-meaning person makes the occasional suggestion or wants to give some advice - assuming it’s not laced with passive-aggressiveness or with an air of judgment.

The problem comes when an outside relationship becomes more of a priority than the marriage.

Logan is my best friend, partner in life, and the person I talk to the most. If you can’t say the same, I’m guessing you probably aren’t thrilled with your marriage right now. (And let me be the first to admit that I definitely have not always been able to say that!)

Please don’t misunderstand me - it’s important to have close relationships with friends and family. I have several extremely close friends (who I consider my besties), and I talk regularly to both my mom and sister. These relationships bring me joy, and all of these people have helped me grow as a person. (Thank you to all of you!!)

But my husband still comes first. If another relationship is taking time away from time with Logan (and same with him), something needs to change. Or if another relationship is causing strife in your marriage, something needs to change. Sometimes putting your marriage first will make other people unhappy. Sometimes putting your marriage first means letting go of other commitments or relationships.

Sometimes putting your marriage first is just really dang hard. But oh, it’s so worth it.

(Obviously if your spouse is deployed or some other extenuating circumstance, it’s not always possible to talk to them as much as you would like. My utmost sympathies! And I know there are some seasons where a certain obligation - sick child, planning a conference, etc. - takes up majority of your time. Those are just temporary. I’m talking about when something is consistently being put ahead of your marriage.)

I hope my posts this month have inspired you at least a little to focus more on your marriage and your spouse, and perhaps have given you a few ideas on how to do so. Thank you so much for following along!

P.S. We made it! Blogging every day all month was hard, but so worth it - just like marriage. 😉 I’m unplugging for a bit to recover. But I'll still contact the giveaway winner tomorrow! It ends at midnight tonight.

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