My guess is that most men consider Physical Touch and/or Words of Affirmation their top love languages. As far as physical touch is concerned, I should mention that it doesn’t just mean sex. Of course, guys love sex, but if your man wants physical touch, he wants it in other ways too!
Just like Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch feels really hard sometimes. I’m already not the type of person to go around hugging everybody, but having small kids all over me every single day means I’m touched out by the time Logan and I have time alone together. It’s even worse when I’m nursing a baby.
So, I try to focus on the little things. If you had told me before I got married just how much Logan likes me tapping him on the butt, I would have looked at you like you were nuts. But apparently, Logan likes butt taps.
Maybe Logan is just special, but just a simple tap or a random shoulder squeeze affects him instantly. He immediately stops what he’s doing, grabs me into a big hug, and sometimes refuses to let me go. It’s annoying, especially if I’m on my way to do something like take food out of the oven…but it’s also adorable.
Sometimes my knee-jerk reaction when Logan wants to touch me in some kind of way is to withdraw. I always think of a dozen other things I need to be doing at that moment, so I can’t help but be really annoyed that he’s distracting me.
I know my reaction - both mentally and physically - is bad. I try not to do it. Maybe I’ll finally enjoy physical touch when our kids are older and not smothering me all the time. But for now, it takes a lot of awareness and effort to 1) give Logan the physical touch he thrives on to feel love from me, and 2) remember that my threshold for physical touch is much, much lower than his.
But I am very thankful that I’m aware of the love languages and the fact that Logan and I have different ones. Without that awareness, Logan and I could very well be feeling very unloved and misunderstood by each other. It’s amazing how much of a difference such a simple concept can make in a relationship.