"When a soul recognises the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives Himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succour under all circumstances." - Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

The sneaky one {day 18}

There are several things that have surprised me about marriage, but one of the biggest is how much the devil wants to ruin everything. Sometimes it’s easy to notice when he’s attacking our marriage, but more often than not, he’s so, so sneaky about it.

The first time I was bombarded by evil thoughts was on our honeymoon, which I already shared about earlier this month. A couple years ago, though, I experienced for the first time an intense battle in my head between good and evil. Logan and I had been doing well, and we were enjoying our boys - Landon was 2.5 years old and Chase was 9 months old.

I had just had an extremely frustrating night, though (while Logan had a fun night with friends), and we were trying to talk things out. Even though I really wanted to just go to bed and forget about it, I was going out of town the next morning with the boys and wouldn’t see Logan for a few days. So, we needed to make things right.

As Logan and I talked, I knew the devil was trying to get me to hold onto my anger towards Logan and blame him for my terrible night. It was ridiculous, really.

And then there was God, prompting me to let go of my pride and talk to Logan honesty - and fairly. There was nothing wrong with me being frustrated but Logan definitely did not deserve to be the bad guy.

Thankfully, God sent me some extra graces, and I admitted to Logan how I shouldn’t blame him and that my anger overwhelms me sometimes. The Holy Spirit took over just then, as Logan brought to light the fact that the devil was trying to ruin the good life we had going. He was right.

I knew we defeated evil in that moment, because it felt like it left the room as soon as we made things right. It sounds crazy, but I definitely felt the triumph of good over evil that night.

Sometimes life isn’t like that though. Since I’m sure the devil hates the fact that I’m blogging about marriage all month, plus the fact that we’re doing well right now, Logan and I have felt under attack more than usual these past few weeks. Last week, I was having the most frustrating day in awhile - I had to cancel my prayer group for the second week in a row, my oven wasn’t working, our entire house smelled like gas so I thought the oven had a leak (it didn’t, thankfully, just a broken part), our baby was especially fussy because of a yucky cough, the dog barked and woke up fussy baby after a much-too-short nap, and well, you get the idea.

Even though all of those things weren’t anything major, there was one moment where I felt utterly despondent and it took a lot to not just burst into tears. A few minutes later, Logan texted me from work, where apparently he was having a frustrating day also and said he was feeling depressed.

Warning bells went off in my head. Logan and I were both feeling hopeless, for completely different reasons. I knew the devil was working overtime.

I texted Logan back saying I thought we should go to confession, which thankfully was being offered at our church later that day. We were able to both receive the Sacrament, and I honestly thought all would be well after that.

Not so. Logan and I were both struggling with things for the rest of the evening, our kids were being crazy, and it almost felt like we hadn’t even gone to confession. While it was tempting to fall back into despair again (darn you, melancholic temperament!), I knew it was exactly what the devil wanted us to do.

So we powered through the night and had a fresh perspective on life when we woke up the next morning.

It’s not always easy to know when your marriage is being attacked, but it’s important that we’re aware of the fact that the devil wants to tear marriages apart. Sometimes he does it when we we’re at our weakest, but other times he does it when we’re at our strongest - when we think that there’s no possible way he could hurt us.

The devil is a sneaky one. He wants us to let down our guard. He wants us to let him sow seeds of bitterness, resentment, and despair into our hearts and into our marriage - without us even realizing.

That’s why it’s important to stay united to God through prayer and the sacraments, so you can stay united to your spouse when you’re under attack.

St. Michael, defend us in battle!
I got this at Edel from Santa Clara Design Print Shop. It seemed appropriate. 😉

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